Old Knudsen has nothing against the Spanish, if they want to have intercourse with their own family members as well as sheep, and if they want to throw goats off buildings, kill bulls for sport and get made into Al Qaeda's bitch well that's their business, just for the record I support running with the bulls, it cuts down on morons and gives the bulls payback, I also challenge Osama to hand to hand combat, so go get out of your bathrobe and put some normal clothes on. Old Knudsen has never won in a fair fight in his life, you guessed it he always cheats, my father 'even older Knudsen' advised me to always hit my opponent with whatever was handy and as I wanted to win I would, sage advice.
When Old Knudsen was a fisherman, the restrictions and regulations they put on us really hurt the industry, shutting a lot of boats down. Instead of going to a whore at the docks to catch crabs Old Knudsen had to fish for them. I signed up with a lazy alcoholic called 'Spinner' he was a big fella with the gift of the gab, for reasons Old Knudsen couldn't work out the women loved him, a lot of times he wouldn't bother turning up for work, Old Knudsen knew the creels would be full so I'd go and empty and re bait them on my lonesome, well I needed the money, sure it was dangerous but as long as I stayed in my boat in an upright position I'd be fine, I can do the work of 3 normal men anyway, if I fell over I was fucked, its not like any of us could swim, we didn't have survival suits and the waters around the Inner Hebrides were fucking cold, we wore lots of layers of clothing under our oil skins and waders that would fill with water and pull us down if we couldn't get them off, just watch what you are doing and don't get pulled in by the out going lines.
We worked around the coast catching green crabs, the odd velvet crab and lobster were bonuses, Spinner sold them to the Spanish, those dirty bastards then put them into a soup.
Its amazing what the uncivilized nations of the world will eat, if Old Knudsen ruled the world he would set up the menu for world peace.
For breakfast a fry up, fried eggs, toast, fried bread, bacon, sausage, blood sausage and beans, for lunch and dinner you could have a fish supper, pasty supper, sausage supper and a burger and chip, (don't know why its not called a burger supper) see?, plenty of choice, all served with a nice cup of Rosey Lee (tea), if the world followed this menu then there would be unity and peace, no more odd balls saying,"Oh I can't eat bacon because pigs are unclean," firstly, pigs don't sweat, secondly I'd have the butcher spray it off, its not like your rashers fell on the floor, suck it up wuss, eat piggy. Only God could create something so tasty with so much delicious meat (the same with cows) so don't insult God, get stuck in, or do Vegetarians, Vegans and the other weird cults around the world not want peace?, you are what you eat, do you want to be a crab or a vegetable or do you want to be one of God's pigs or a burger and chip?, it's a rhetorical question, only a nutcase would choose the first two.
