What Are They Saying?

Bobby "Fuck lad has yer head always been that big? its fucking massive yer like a bobble head."

JFK " That was a cheap shot now go doon to the kitchen and get me a fucking Turkey sandwich and wrap it in saran saran wrap so it doesn't get dirty like a politician ."





This moment in time has been brought to you by the 'Betrayal of Cuban exiles of America Association' and ' Fuck but the Kennedys are ugly Foundation'.


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A Letter To Knudsen

Old Knudsen gets at least 50 or 60 e-mails a day. Many want to increase his penis size or sell him something and then there are some sent by his adoring fans.

I only post what my fans say to me in e-mails if I have their permission as I am a man of honour and principle unless you count the time when I posted about the personal itches of MJ that even I wouldn't scratch and I am not at all picky.

Its odd that since I'm British, Scottish an Ulster/Scot or Scots/Irish whatever you can figure out or understand I tend to have more Yank and Canadian followers than fellow UK types, its always been that way I don't have a clue what the attraction is besides the obvious sexy man in a cap thang I have going on but all the same they read and continue to complain about my usage of 'U' in words such as Honour, Favourite, Neighbourhood etc etc I also spell aeroplane and aluminium get over it I'm right even when I'm wrong.

I won't give out details about this fan, I'll call him 'Bill' of Florida he says.

Dear Old Knudsen you are the only thing that makes my miserable life worthwhile if you ever stopped Blogging I'd kill myself and if you don't reply to this e-mail I'll cut myself.

Please don't think I'm a crazed loony I just want to be your best friend I have so much more to offer than those bitches who throw themselves at you like whores of Babylon .

When I read all of your 25 Blogs I like to smear peanut butter onto my penis and have my dog lick it off.
I pretend your words are meant for me, I have almost broken the code you put into your posts to send me messages but " behind tennis at rimjob execute cunt " doesn't mean much maybe I'm missing a word or two and you want me to kill Bjorn Borg this I would gladly do in your name.

I hope you respond to this e-mail I'll send it a few more times incase you don't get it. Now I have to go and read your archives yet again.

I thought the e-mail was kinda sweet in a needy way it beats the angry drunken e-mails I receive from someone who shall remain amonymous but puts a very strong case as to why he or she should get my cap if I died by using threats and swear words.

My cap was said to be the cap worn by Jesus at the last supper and contains powerful mojo and holy piss stains, all I know is that I'm God's gift to weemen and Asian gurly-boys the cap just gives me the edge over the rest.

As I said to MJ once, "you've tried the rest now try the best" but she wasn't having any of it as she was having 'Weeman's trouble' no idea what that is so I just nodded knowingly.

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Rock On Tommy.

I have finally acknowledged the 20th century and invested in some technology.

On this post I did the usual cop out, it was either this a YouTube or a MeMe.I put up my top ten favourite Aye pod tunes. I could of lied and went for the coolest and most pretentious songs I could think of just so my readers would think me all Daddy Cool as the kids call it but I think you're all a shower of cunts (interesting image) so deal with the real me, none of that mambo ya ya ya banjo music here. The first one is as sappy as I'm getting today so read this and fuck off.


1)Jim Reeves - I love you because.
Gentleman Jim a crooner from Texas, you see you never hear people being called crooners anymore, he died when the airplane he was flying crashed during a storm, its thought he got 'pilots vertigo' which sounds very bad especially for his passenger. The plane was flying upside doon and Reeves thought he was gaining height, well until he hit the ground that was.

2)Chris Yacich - I like bananas (because they have no bones)

3)The battlefield band - The Highlander's Farewell To Ireland, Farewell To Ireland, Put Me In The Big Chest.

4)Military band of the Forty-Eighth Highlanders - Scotland the brave.
You'd think me a Sassenach if I didn't have this one on it.

5) Freddie Bell and the Bellboys - Giddy-up-a-Ding-Dong.

6)Andy Cameron - Ally's Tartan Army
C'mon Archie Gemmill, 1978 world cup. If you missed his great goal against the bloody Dutch rent out Trainspotting.

7) Sarah Brightman and Hot Gossip - I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper.
Ah Hot Gossip, half naked dancers of the 80's, I hear half of them died due to inhaling too much smoke from the smoke machines, ah well, I came.


8)Harold Faltermeyer - Axel F
I start body popping everytime I play this one, last week in Tescos an ambulance was called as they thought I was having a seizure, stupid cunts, its my own style.


9) Fred Wedlock - Oldest Swinger in Town
When your feelin as stiff as a skin heads boot
rub on vick where u used to splash brute
and the latest punk fashion is your old weddin' suit
You're the oldest swinger in town

10) Keith 'n' Shane - Girl You Know It's True
Having felt let doon and cheated just like millions of others who bought Milli Vanilli records and dressed in tight black lycra cycle shorts that showed of packages in full glory (I was barred from drinking at the Legion while dressed like this. Is that what I fought the Japs at Normandy for?) I was glad when Keith and Shane the two ugly ones from that fine Irish group Boyz zone did a remake.