A Day Out With Old Knudsen

If you ever doubt the existence of Gog well here he is with his lunch deciding what direction to go in. The walking man above his head is symbolic of humanity striving forward to convert or kill non-believers and the fact he is walking/marching means he is Protestant as he goes RIGHT .


Old Knudsen saw this and laughed at this stereotype, ha ha ha stupid Irish leprechauns the only thing that would make this funnier is if you put some black face on him, "Top 'O' the mornin masta" oh and give him 'slitty eyes' and make him good at math. Old Knudsen does crack himself up laughing at other people, races and what have ye.


The joke turned sour when Old Knudsen saw the other side of the window. Roth IRA and Cloverdell IRA ? and they have a 529 plan to kill the Brits and take over Northern Ireland, fuck the Real IRA these two terrorist branches have an office and Yank backing ....... again. The IRA have NOT finished their terror campaign against the UK they are merely hiding their activities in Southern Callyfornia and look at the pot 'O' gold they have to buy guns with.


No where near by was this car. You all know that my part of Southern Callyfornia is in Canada which explains Ontario, ach I don't know its state, fed and city laws all beyond me I don't even have a visa cos Old Knudsen uses a Scottish express card............. "Och aye sir that will do nicely" except Old Knudsen doesn't like to spend money.

The irony of a crime prevention unit driving an Escape was not missed by Old Knudsen no wonder the IRA choose to set up here.

Old Knudsen will not be going outside any time soon and when Hometoon security finally take my call and stop threatening to arrest me (for my own safety probably) the world will be safe again.

I'm Off The Line

Well ya should have appreciated me when I was here. I have to move from me villa in order to fight my extradition back to the UK as the $6000 a month rent is killing me and so my Interweb is off for a while.
I love America so much I never want to leave. The gun shots, police helicopters with their search lights every night, the gang bangers I have to chase off my lawn, the general *uneducativeness* of the locals in fact I only feel this superior when I'm in a room full for English people.

I step out of the hoose every morning and breathe in the filthy 100 degree air full of mosquitoes and say God has indeed blessed America for a finer utopia could only exist during an acid trip.



Only kidding, no offense to the idiot Americans but this place is a shit hole and I can't wait for deportation back to my war zone full of thick necked thugs and bad food . By the way its only a hate crime if emotion is involved, Old Knudsen is as cold as steel so go and fuck yerself you legal system, any excuse to be rid of me, you are the ones who are hating the playa, don't be haters.

I am very busy right now and so my blog will suffer and I'll no be posting as much. I have some scheduled stuff lined up just to keep me hand in.

I'd move in with my Gurlyboyfriend Woohoo but since she is a free lance dog groomer she keeps late night hours and works a lot from home. Guido her business partner suggested I stay away as people who need their dogs groomed at night also like their privacy.

Woohoo's semi-celebrity adopted parents (yes she adopted them) have invited us to stay with them in sunny West Dale, legendary home of the long horned short haired tight poopered American Angus. They disprove of dog grooming for some reason and are just happy that she has a nice church going man to steer her right ............... thats me by the way.

I am bidding my time and then I'll be moving back, not to my beloved Kilamory because they got a petition against me but to Northern fucking Ireland as the peace process is holding better than I thought it would and where is the fun in that?

Guido will not be pleased with losing Woohoo so don't tell him where I am. I have to get an Irish passport cos they will let any old cont in and my Brit passport has been flagged, oh so much silly doings, I must fly into Dublin and cross over the border fence into the free north at night.

The blogging pool is small and polluted there and so like Jesus and Sir Francis Drake when they returned when the world needed them so Old Knudsen shall return like a prodigal son and a fatted calf shall be killed in celebration .

I shall take my bow which no one else can string and I shall string it and slay the cuntry with irreverence and scorn. I will not be going native and shall still cover topics the whole world can follow using my international tongue to lash yous all good and proper.

We all know that only a few good blogs cum from the blessed north of Ireland which has something to do with Henry the 8th outlawing humour in 1534 and the Irish under the comical hand of the evil emperor in Rome have dominated the blogging field with their whimsical look at life without the need of a true religion, sobriety or education.

I was recently asked: "Old Knudsen if there are free Presbyterians then are there ones who are not free?"

Old Knudsen looked into his scriptures and saw that anyone who isn't a Presbyterian is a slave of Satan and should either be given the choice of death or conversion. We at the Presbyterian liberating All Yous Arseholes Society have tried to make conversion more appealing with youth and community 'rap' sessions and raffles but death seems a more popular choice still.

Old Knudsen shall not end, he just needs a wee hibernation. He'll still be in the states for a while so get busy and tap his ass weemen. Change is a part of nature and Old Knudsen is a force of nature is Northern Ireland ready for him? I doubt it. Can you no read the fear in the Irish blogger's posts? I suspect sales of alcohol will increase greatly and thats before I get there.

So I've got major life changes and people to kill before I leave, not too much time for blogging, not like I've said that before. There are still posts in this old dog yet.


I shall leave you for now with this poignant view of America as seen from Old Knudsen's camera.

Empty mail box silently screaming on a vacant lot where once stood who knows what? Dirt and weeds along this stretch of route 66 telling you to go elsewhere for your kicks and of course the broken abandoned recliner a symbol of the American dream reminding you to allow yerself to dream but don't let those dreams become yer master.


* A word I learned at the school of hard knock................ers in LA*

This Must Be The End Of Times

Old Knudsen just spent a lovely few days with his best mate The Grinch hunting hobos in the San Fernando Ana Gabriel valley, its more of a basin than a valley but still nice hunting territory.

Colin otherwise known as The Grinch almost bagged a Velcroraptor but because of his heart condition he couldn't keep up, sticky things to kill. Speaking of which this post is about Stickys or Fenians as some know them by.

Only the Americans like the Irish even though George Washington after having them beat the English in some major skirmishes turned on them for taxes thus proving yet again what a two faced traitor he was. He was employed by the crown and not only did he cheat on it but he did have 9 gurlfriends, must have been the teeth that attracted them.

Oh it was the English who invented the Irish St Paddies cross.


Canadians don't like the Irish, listen up MJ, CANADIANS DON'T LIKE THE IRISH especially the Jewish Canadians, bacon and Irish. Isn't it funny that the Irish are almost human and pigs are close to being Irish which is why they use their hearts and feet in transplants?


Old Knudsen proudly served in the Black and Tans and has had enough of this Irish loving cuntry.

He has also had enough of Eva fucking Lungeria who has to appear on everything including this blog.

Cindy Crawford here wans the truth and I'd wish she'd stop camping outside my hoose and shouting, "Sell us yer wiggle" every time I water me plants. I actually do have a wiggle but how would she know that? maybe she hears me yelling "wake up Jeff" all the time.


There may be other reasons to leave but I can't think of them now.


Ok my ladyboy friend has decided she has had enough persecution for being a chick with a dick. Its how God made her damn it!

Old Knudsen is Penis whipped by Woohoo but a vadge will do. She spent thousands of me money in Vegas and so she can't afford the op poor thing.

So here is where Old Knudsen gives you the chance to laugh at him. Because of Old Knudsen's Ma being from Ulster Old Knudsen can get an Irish passport which he needs for various tax and Woohoo's immigration needs. In no time Woohoo will be able to get her lad removed by the NHS in the UK once I smuggle her in as Irish.

Yes its love that Old Knudsen has to give in and become that which he despises the most ........ a bog trotter.


I'll ride them but to become one is a different matter.


How can I be Old Bitter Balls when I look like this? I can always hate the Slavs that is quite popular right now.


Old Knudsen is proud of his blood and his British passport even though the Brits are desperately trying to get rid of Ulster and have been for years but even the Irish don't want them.


Old Knudsen fought for the Ulster kingdom of Dal Raida which stretched across to Scotland. The Romans were too ascared to fight us, when Old Knudsen ran at soldiers with his big sword they fled like chickens being chased by a chicken choker. Old Knudsen has the blood of the old Gods who now live under the mounds, the vikings who now live in the great halls of Ikea and the Gaels who live everywhere cos they breed like flies in his blood, no not flies in his blood though I did have a bot fly lay maggots in me scalp. Old Knudsen became like and ancient God giving birth from his head.

Old Knudsen is very occupied at the moment and next year he expects to be moving back to killamory as an Irish Ulster Scotsman, yes I understand that Ulster is a gheylick name, just fuck off its a difficult time for me I must go and kill some more brain cells in order to pass the Irish immigration test.

'Here are two spades, now take yer pick'


Look here is a hot woman, now you can't remember a thing the post was about, yes I do know my readers.

Anyway the post was about the right to die and I believe that you should have it. In Switzerland they charge you 4 grand to kill you legally what a fucking scam that is, Old Knudsen does it at a reasonable rate illegally.

What Ever Happened To The Great Dane?

My Danish blood is boiling, I never said sorry just remember that.

The Danish government have apologised for the Viking invasion of Ireland more than 1,000 years ago. The Irish excavated a Viking ship and the Danes got all teary eyed. What the fuck Denmark? those paddys were asking for it, are you still ok about all the other invasions?

The attack on the holy island Lindisfarne in 793 has been compared to 9/11 is that still ok?

News just in Denmark is either very drunk or on its period. Whats next the Iranians for sacking Athens in 480 BC? or the Jews apologising for killing Christ ?