Jason Michael Fife is the ultimate thoughtful romantic. If yer wife has a boyfriend that may make you insanely jealous and you might want to stab the two 38 times each if you found them in bed and then chop them up in the bath and bury them in the garden telling friends, family and police they ran away together showing them the note you may have forged. He mailed a bloody cow's head to his wife's lover, maybe the bloke liked a little head I don't know so they Fife sentenced to probation and community service.
His lawyer said ,"he now understands that in a civilised society a person cannot send a severed cow's head to anybody." There should be a rule book about that sort of thing, what can you send? was the postage adequate? what was the problem? was he Hindu? if so then that adds an extra dimension of comedy to the whole thing. Ok it did start to leak after it was put on the guy's warm front door step and started to defrost, fucking postal service huh? It reminds me of that film Se7en when that stupid cow got her head cut off by Bobby Darin .
Why is it that when you catch yer wife with a bloke you beat up the bloke? that's very sexist in my view. Or when you catch her with a woman you sit in the corner and watch? Poor Fife from Philadelphia the home of brotherly bumsex or something was charged with stalking, terrorist threats, disorderly conduct and harassment after he allegedly sent threatening messages and pictures to the interloper between May and September 2006.
This was one of the threatening pictures, well Cybermen aren't exactly friendly now are they?The thing is that it worked, Fife and his wife got back together again. She must of heard about her crazy estranged husband and thought, "ah how romantic, my little stalker walker with the severed heady weady."
How romantic
So if you are stuck as to what to give that special lady in yer life for Valentines day which is coming up, don't go to the florist for 'here let us price gouge you on a bunch of red allergy ridden roses ' or a box of 'I know yer fat but have a box of chocolates and please don't eat them' just pop doon to the butchers and get a severed cows head. Hilary Clinton's will do just fine.
John McCain is still the next US president and doesn't need to cry to get votes, however he does need fiber.
