Presidents And History

Yes history does repeat itself and lucky for you lot I was around then and still remember it. When the great depression in the late 20's hit, President Hoover shat himself. Imagine a president running for re-election during a depression that happened on his watch. People shouting, "We want bread" as he drove by in his open topped car waving and smiling.

Nicknames appeared and now they can be quite rightly applied to Bush who started his presidency with a surplus from the former admin.

The above picture used to be called a Hoover flag and know can be a Bush flag.


Here we have a Hoover hotel which you can now call it a Bush hotel. A camp full of these would be Hooverville or now Bushville.


It scares me that certain people wake up one day and look in the mirror and say, "I can be the leader of this cuntry" how full of yerself do you have to be to becum President? or maybe how insane?

When General MacArthur was told to break up a demonstration of WWI vets who marched on Washington looking for early bonus' that were due to be paid in 1945 he exceeded his orders and pushed them back to their camp which he burned to the ground.

Hoover got the blame for this and FDR was heard to say, "This is going to elect me" He was right . FDR promised the people hope and change, he introduced the social security number to track the citizens and when WWII came around he locked up the Japanese Americans and suppressed the media.

WWII got the US out of its depression . He may of been a lazy fucker that couldn't be arsed to walk but at least he was a man of his word.

We are due for a big war its just a matter of who will it be this time.

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Who Is Joe The Plumber?

Not a licensed plumber to start with. Plumbers aren't too bright at the best of times and those who masquerade as plumbers just to get the chicks are even worse. In the future everyone will be anonymous for 15 minutes Joe and many others have complained about the coverage he has got as they think that Obama's answer should have gotten more. Here is something to think about.

Tip #1: If you have evaded paying over $1000 in taxes do not appear in front of 50 cameras asking a presidential candidate a tax question he has answered many times.

Tip#2: Use a potato to bung up the end stop water gushing from a broken pipe until you can repair or turn it off.

Tip#3: If yer head looks like a potato do not shave it.

Tip#4: After trying to embarrass said presidential candidate by asking him a guilt laden question full of yer own personal details do not complain about the media coverage you receive after wards no one made you do it.

Tip#5: Do not meet and greet the press when they turn up at yer hoose.

Tip#6: If you say you don't like the coverage go into hiding, don't go onto the radio.

Tip#7: Accept the book deal thats bound to be offered.




UPDATE:

Knudsen the cunt asked presidential candidate John McCain if the economy was still sound the answer he received was "fundamentally".

He then asked him what will hurt more, losing the campaign or having lost Nam? At that point tax payer employed secret service moved in to kick Knudsen's shit in.

It turns out that Knudsen owes billions to Iceland and once rented out Platoon.


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American Politics For Mongs

John McCain was born in 1873 the son of gun. He grew up as a young hot headed Maverick and joined the military because all mavericks secretly want to be the same as the others with the same clothes and rules etc.

While in Ireland searching for his Irish roots as all Americans yearn to do he was captured by the IRA and tortured with boiled food which included cabbage and potatoes. He was held at the notorious Holiday Inn and thought he was going to die of the Irish 'rotten teeth syndrome' he was released after being exchanged for the Irish terrorist Paddy O'Cunty who was being held by the British as Americans think the IRA is some kind of financial account thing.

Upon release he went on a 10 day drinking bender, fucked Marilyn Monroe up the shitter (though she had been dead for many years) and cut doon the Navajo peach trees cos he wanted their land for development.

He killed 2 secretaries had his cock sucked by a fat chick in a beret, lied to his mother about stealing the change from her purse and vouched for his friends who cheated thousands of old people out of their pensions but the shit never stuck because he had been tortured and got a medal for getting caught by the enemy and giving away secrets but he used words like integrity a lot so people liked him.

After swearing up and doon that he'd not run for president he ran for president as he was the only real choice that had a chance of winning.

After beating Hilary in the third round with a left hook fries and large drink combo he showed that politics was no place for a woman. The only place for a woman is on my face, not to be sexist or anything but the wee dears are better suited to cooking and cleaning than running the cuntry.



His rival Barrack Osama was looking like a serious threat because he was able to raise a lot of money. They all say the same things its the money that really talks.

Osama played the race diversity card and played at being JFK and fucked off to Europe even though they don't vote for him there.


McCain listened to his advisers and decided he needed diversity too so they hired Super Nanny to sort things out. Her only political experience was accepting 27 million dollars for a bridge that went nowhere in a state that has only 12 people in it.

A white trash MILF with money whose teenage daughter got up the duff but hey shes christian so yay! its all ok.

Super Nanny didn't even know what a Vice president did. Even Old Knudsen knows this. The VP gets the votes the main runner can't and then they hang about everyday and ask how the health of the president is as they usually hire old geezers about to cark it. Or if they get a young president they have him shot in order to become preez.......... yes Johnson yer cheque bounced so I'm a telling.

So a woman may become president because McCain is older than dirt but she'll just be a pawn as she is now and knows Jack Shit and his brother Bobby Shit.

The Whitehoose isn't ready for a nig nog yet. Osama's promise if he gets into the Whitehoose is to steal the 56 inch TV and have his friends like Snoopy dog and 25 cent over to his crib to drink some Chrystal and hang out with the bitches.


McCain is haunted by his past and created oven chips so I don't think he is ready for the Whitehoose either as he has issues and tons of them but he is the next preez so get used to it.

I hope this cleared up what Yank politics is about.


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Rudy Loves John (TLND)

I just wanted to say that even though the bitterness of losing makes my left arm go numb I love and respect you, you're a national hero and a man of great integrity. I love the way you make me feel, your smile your soft but strong hands you'll make a great leader for our country.

No Rudy you are the national hero and its that twinkle in your eyes that I love, it great being friends with you. I have to go and win the presidency but you'll always be my slap headed bitch now hang up.

Rudy: no you hang up first.

John: no you hang up.

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How To Get A Head In Life

Jason Michael Fife is the ultimate thoughtful romantic. If yer wife has a boyfriend that may make you insanely jealous and you might want to stab the two 38 times each if you found them in bed and then chop them up in the bath and bury them in the garden telling friends, family and police they ran away together showing them the note you may have forged.

He mailed a bloody cow's head to his wife's lover, maybe the bloke liked a little head I don't know so they Fife sentenced to probation and community service.

His lawyer said ,"he now understands that in a civilised society a person cannot send a severed cow's head to anybody." There should be a rule book about that sort of thing, what can you send? was the postage adequate? what was the problem? was he Hindu? if so then that adds an extra dimension of comedy to the whole thing. Ok it did start to leak after it was put on the guy's warm front door step and started to defrost, fucking postal service huh? It reminds me of that film Se7en when that stupid cow got her head cut off by Bobby Darin .

Why is it that when you catch yer wife with a bloke you beat up the bloke? that's very sexist in my view. Or when you catch her with a woman you sit in the corner and watch? Poor Fife from Philadelphia the home of brotherly bumsex or something was charged with stalking, terrorist threats, disorderly conduct and harassment after he allegedly sent threatening messages and pictures to the interloper between May and September 2006.

This was one of the threatening pictures, well Cybermen aren't exactly friendly now are they?

The thing is that it worked, Fife and his wife got back together again. She must of heard about her crazy estranged husband and thought, "ah how romantic, my little stalker walker with the severed heady weady."

How romantic

So if you are stuck as to what to give that special lady in yer life for Valentines day which is coming up, don't go to the florist for 'here let us price gouge you on a bunch of red allergy ridden roses ' or a box of 'I know yer fat but have a box of chocolates and please don't eat them' just pop doon to the butchers and get a severed cows head. Hilary Clinton's will do just fine.

John McCain is still the next US president and doesn't need to cry to get votes, however he does need fiber.

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