Monday, October 12, 2009

Fucking Quitter!

She lit her first cigarette around the outbreak of the First World War in 1914 not 1917 as the Americans seem to think.

Now Winne Langley 102 has kicked the habit after 95 years because she "didn’t fancy it any more" five cigarettes a day, giving a total of more than 170,000 in her lifetime.

Mrs Langley, who would share cigarettes with her friends at infant school, reckons she hasn’t contracted cancer because she does not inhale. Much like the old Clinton reason, he also didn't have sex because he came in bathroom sinks and on blue dresses not into fat chicks.

So its ok to share cigarettes at school but if you try to sell drugs? fucking double standard.

The former laundrette worker, who lives in Croydon, South London said: "Everyone used to smoke in those days, you did it to cope. We didn’t know about the health problems. I just don’t fancy it any more."

Another way of coping was binge drinking, a fine tradition that still goes on today .......... its tough being British.

"My eyesight is failing so in a few years’ time I might not be able to see the pack."

Her cigarettes were always to hand during the Depression and the Second World War, in fact she'd have cigarette and tripe sandwiches for tea .

"I lived close to Biggin Hill and you could hear the German rocket bombs engines cut out," she said.

That would be the V-1 rockets or Doodlebugs, guided missiles that would cut their engines and silently glide doon to their targets and explode. People nick-named them 'Bob Hope bombs' you'd bob to one side and hope they wouldn't hit you.

"Some bombs used to land pretty close to me. You needed a smoke after that. We didn’t know if we were going to be alive from one day to the next, so we thought you might as well enjoy yourself while you’re alive."

Mrs Langley has outlived her husband Robert, who died in 1968 after deciding he just didn't fancy it no more, and her son, who died four years ago aged 72.

She said: "I’ve cut down in recent years and only had one every few days after dinner or in my bedroom. I can just about afford it but the price of cigarettes is disgusting, and the smoking ban is disgusting. You should be able to smoke where you want."

Indeed Mrs Langley you should be able to blow yer smoke into the faces of babies because Britain has earned that right.

Mrs Langley’s step-grandson Clive, 53, said: "Her doctors have told her there’s not much point stopping now. If she’s got to 102 without getting cancer I don’t think she ever will."