A poll of 15,000 dirty weemen found that Germans are considered "too smelly and liked to force their way into places they had no right to go".
English lovers came second because they are so lazy which explains why all the main roads in England are built by the Irish, while men from Sweden were branded "too quick to finish" and came third or rather first.
Spanish men topped the table as the best lovers, followed by Brazilians and Italians. Having cum from large families they gain much of their experience from their siblings.
The poll, carried out by a global research site asked sluttish weemen who get around a fair bit from 20 countries to rate nations on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers.
Germans were deemed to have bad body odour, Englishmen were accused of letting women do all the work, whilst Swedes were a bit too quick to finish.
Men from Holland were "too rough" especially with their fingers and dykes and Americans were accused of being "too dominating" as having seen too much porn they like to direct in the bedroom.
Greek men were said to be a bit too soppy....................... ghey!
Other countries who didn't fare well in the poll were Scotland (too loud), Turkey (too sweaty) and Wales (too selfish).
Russian men crept in at tenth place amid accusations they are too hairy and drunk for the average woman also their judicial system was corrupt having only 2 of the 15 big murder cases over the years solved.
A spokesperson added: ''These results are an eye-opener for thousands of men around the world and female travellers might judge potential new lovers by looking at these results.'' Old Knudsen certainly will.
WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:
1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too rough)
5. America (too dominating)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)
WORLD'S BEST LOVERS
1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10. Canada
To defend my beautiful Scotland which I don't really think I have to as I wasn't polled, what is wrong with being loud? Old Knudsen may like to rip off the odd fart as he pumps away but ya can hardly hear them over the sound of ' My sweet Killamory.'
"The old cock crows with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.
Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory."
Old Knudsen has only made it through all 12 verses once and just got into Scotland the brave before he yelled FFFFRRREEEEDDDOOOMMMM! ask yer Ma.
I see that as having colour and making it a more Scottish experience I mean whatever Spain,Brazil,Italy,France all fuck with their mouths and fight wae their feet. Is Ireland a real cuntry? South Africa yeah right they forgot to add they throw a tire around yer neck after and burn ya alive, Australia is famous for its men and their considerate ways towards weemen and is New Zealand not the same place? Denmark should have done better and my Knudsen blood curdles in disgust and Canada? Everyone knows Canadians are so boring that they fall asleep during sex but hey they are very polite with the wipes. There is only one Canadian that makes the grade and I suspect he may have some Scottish in him.
Old Knudsen never has any luck with the dolphins but Donn can charm anything with or without a heartbeat.
