Waaaaaaahhhh! You're mean, Santa!
Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts
Thursday, November 10, 2011
I Want These Louboutins, Santa
Waaaaaaahhhh! You're mean, Santa!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Happy Christmas If Yer Reading This Then Yer A Lucky Cunt
Born to be sacrificed by his deadbeat dad and too dumb to run from the Romans, millions believe this story but for some strange reason they don't believe my Blog which in my opinion is more believable.Ok enough is enough, next you'll say that Saddam having WMDs is historical fact because most of the cunts in charge said so or that Sherlock Holmes is a historical character because he has a hoose in London.
I hope you got everything you wanted.
On my news blog I have a birthday of the day widget and today the 25th December it has Jesus Christ as having his birthday though it says there is no evidence of it. What scholars agree that Jesus is an historical figure? the holocaust deniers? religious scholars? sorry the Romans were sticklers for writing doon details and never mentioned him, here let me take the word some illiterate Jews gone wrong that didn't even know Jesus because Jews are a fucking stable bunch to begin with just look at the middle east today and where Christians and Muslims came from.
Nice beaver, "thanks I just had it stuffed" I'd love to bust that star.From todays birthday widget
Most scholars agree that Jesus of Nazareth was a historical figure, a preacher and healer in Roman-occupied Palestine who was crucified in Jerusalem. He is the central figure in Christianity and an important prophet in Islam. Christmas, December 25th by the Gregorian Calendar, is celebrated as his birthday, although there is no evidence that this was his actual date of birth.
Did you have a white christmas? did yer partner give you a pearl necklace?
Lets get something straight, all that religious stuff is mythology, you say Greek mythology, Roman mythology, Norse mythology but you'll find some silly cunt looking for the Ark of the covenant on the 'History' channel .
Or were you as bored as this lass?Religion only becomes dominant when it forces itself on others, replaces and out-breeds them which is why the Belgians are shitting themselves about their Islamic immigrant population and turning more towards those with white supremacist leanings.
This would be for Ellie before she complains about the lack of man meat in my post. He could make it Christmas everyday for you.Commercialism and ignorance have mostly replaced historical fact and what mythologies they were stolen from. I blame the Yanks of course for a lot of it like their embracing of Halloween, Easter and Christmas to make them reasons to buy stuff, they even have memorial day sales for the fallen war dead, tacky but profitable.
The UK will be mini America in 10 years, its half way there already.
Did you get legless?Santa used to be the pagan god of sailors, the end of December is the birth of the sun not the son, Easter is to fuck like bunnies and for the plants to re-awaken and Halloween is getting yer food ready for the long winter not handing out sweets to wee fat shites in masks.
Its funny how time goes on and life and death celebrations and festivals become bland meaningless ways to spend money and outcast anyone who won't play along. Mother's day, Father's day, Grandparent's day ,Valentine day or any other pulled out of Hallmark's arse day.
Appreciate those that mean something to you every day, it should always be mother's day (unless shes a cunt) give thanks for what you have and count yer blessings like when yer child smiles at you or yer coffee tastes extra nice one day and be grateful you can even buy the coffee.
Its funny how time goes on and life and death celebrations and festivals become bland meaningless ways to spend money and outcast anyone who won't play along. Mother's day, Father's day, Grandparent's day ,Valentine day or any other pulled out of Hallmark's arse day.
Appreciate those that mean something to you every day, it should always be mother's day (unless shes a cunt) give thanks for what you have and count yer blessings like when yer child smiles at you or yer coffee tastes extra nice one day and be grateful you can even buy the coffee.
I don't mean be a wet blanket that says peace and love dude, save the whales I mean just live on yer terms and not be dictated to by an uncaring society that will talk shite behind yer back the first chance it gets and only loves you when yer spending.
Fuck the whales their extinction is called evolution and God, 2007 years is a long time to be an apathetic voyeur, what have you done for us lately ?
Fuck the whales their extinction is called evolution and God, 2007 years is a long time to be an apathetic voyeur, what have you done for us lately ?
Monday, December 24, 2007
Put A Log On The Fire
I have been indulging in schadenfreude this year, thats the art of enjoying the mis-fortune of others especially at this time of year. I hope you all have a normal enjoyable Christmas and stop sending me shite like the picture above .
Thankyou to one of my fellow bloggers for this present. I shall not name you unless pressed to by bribes etc.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Santa Causes Global Warming
You cunts just go about and buy yer expensive toys and deck yer halls etc but have you ever thought of the price of Christmas? yeah like you really care just drink yer eggnog and eat yer turkey.
Ever wonder about Santa's Elves? whittling away at I-pods , X-boxes and rabbit vibrators or putting the triangles on the Argyle socks you never wanted. It used to be they only worked during December and spent the rest of the year as tooth fairies and guardian angels for lonely travelers but as Christmas is getting earlier every year they now start in November as toy demand has stepped up but they have it lucky. Its the ones doon the coal mines that have it hard, since the world is full of little shites they work doon pit all year, long hours in dangerous conditions and what does Santa do? well that lard ass eats and watches soaps all year only working one night a year and most of that is spent fucking mummy under the tree or eating cookies as magic is used for most deliveries.
Its a catch 22 situation, be good and get presents, be bad and get coal, its like Jesus, he'll love you whether you want it or not which in my mind puts them in the same categories as pedos, rapists and governments.
Never mind the poor and the homeless just give a thought to Santa's slaves. Maybe Santa could give bad little sprogs a chunk of Carbon Off-set instead, things have to change as Santa is killing the planet.
Ever wonder about Santa's Elves? whittling away at I-pods , X-boxes and rabbit vibrators or putting the triangles on the Argyle socks you never wanted. It used to be they only worked during December and spent the rest of the year as tooth fairies and guardian angels for lonely travelers but as Christmas is getting earlier every year they now start in November as toy demand has stepped up but they have it lucky. Its the ones doon the coal mines that have it hard, since the world is full of little shites they work doon pit all year, long hours in dangerous conditions and what does Santa do? well that lard ass eats and watches soaps all year only working one night a year and most of that is spent fucking mummy under the tree or eating cookies as magic is used for most deliveries.
Its a catch 22 situation, be good and get presents, be bad and get coal, its like Jesus, he'll love you whether you want it or not which in my mind puts them in the same categories as pedos, rapists and governments.
Never mind the poor and the homeless just give a thought to Santa's slaves. Maybe Santa could give bad little sprogs a chunk of Carbon Off-set instead, things have to change as Santa is killing the planet.
Or you can just say, "fuck the Elves I'm ok" and look at this Christmas totty. I know what I want for Christmas.
Friday, December 21, 2007
I've Got Some Round The Back
Nearly that time of the year again in which you invite "Old Nick" er I mean Jolly saint Nicholas into yer homes to brainwash yer shallow idiot children with crass commercialism and eat and drink too much and make bad choices with drunken sexual encounters at work parties.I just thought I'd get into the spirit of things and post a Christmas picture. Just remember people its all about lil baby Jeebus who, according to the history books and the History channel was born on the 25 th December, fucked if I know what year it was. I do know that after Jeebus was resurrected into his holy zombie state he never sent his Da a single father's day card. This gives hope to dead beat dads everywhere, whatever the children have against them at least they didn't crucify the wee cunts. (well probably not)
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