Love A Duck Cor Blimey

Isn't DSL or LSD great? with my dial up gone I've now managed to visit some of yous with my limited time. So many of my links have gone private, deleted or just not posting ah well it will cum to us all eventually thanks for telling me you cunts that just sloped off.

Its so easy now and I don't have to check me shite meter to find out where people are from as I get told when I go onto their blogs, the bloody Interweb is making it impossible to be a sneaky cunt which brings me to my subject. Yes this post has a subject.


Americans pretending to be British

I knew the Yanks loved the Irish, fuck knows why but they seem to want to be British too. I used to be able to tell with their spelling, you know words like 'colour' and 'color' Americans can't spell. Then there was the culture references like saying 'Firestones' for tires instead of Dunlop or Michelin.

Now its all so easy. Yes I am British, Scots/Irish to be exact and I will not be extradited back to the UK away and fuck with yer bogus war crime charges.

When I came here to sunny Callyfornia I heard of a pop group called Greenday and heard their song 'American idiot' ah how ironic I like to change the first line a little, " Don't want to be an American idiot so I sing with a fake British accent."

Not to forget the laughing stock that is Madonna who pretends to be British. *To my shame* I was at a Sci-fi convention in Wales in the late 90's and a pregnant yank star Nana Visitor said she liked the Welsh town name of clywed as a possible name for her baby as it sounded like dripping water 'clue-id' a member of the audience said how funny it would be to name yer child after a drab industrial town, she went off the idea a little I think she called the baby Scunthorpe or something classy like that .



Then that fucking cunt Dick fucking van dyke the chimney sweep from hell, he set the bar for Yanks doing Brit accents and either they sounded like a bad cockney or like the royal family.

Ever see Don Cheadle in Oceans 11 ? fuck his cockney accent was bad, I was talking about it to a yank fella and he shouted out, "you moron it was a Jamaican accent." I just walked away and have never talked to that fool since.

I know being British is something to aspire to but start Irish (most yanks say they are Irish) then Welsh, Southern English, Northern English and then the highest level Scottish if you can but make sure you understand the culture, bitter, Protestant, Catholic, once it was mostly white people now soon to be just like America.


All that is good and great in British culture Samantha Fox. Who wasn't glad when she turned 16 and got her tits out in the Sun newspaper?

The British Empire once ruled a quarter of the world and sure we may have executed the odd wog or savage to do so but what makes us Great Britian is the fact that we are ok about that and they probably deserved it anyway.

God save the Queen!


*Wales, otherwise known as 'that area of sheep shaggers stuck onto England' the sci-fi convention was cool*

Latest OBB News Up-Dates

Time Waits For Nomads.

"Ach this Whiskey is older than my last wife but it does taste better."

For those concerned I'm fucking pished so fuck off.

When you spread some dead persons ashes out to sea as they requested you don't go out and bring them back in now do you? so when Canadian James Doohan 85 when he died ,the most famous fake Scotsman in the world, Engineer Scotty of Star Trek wanted his ashes to be shot into space did he know what all that entailed?

Along with the remains of 200 other people it was shot up to the edge of space via rocket and then it fell back to earth.
I pictured something grand like being deployed into space into a decaying orbit to burn up on re-entry .

Nope, they launched it in New Mexico which has less calories than the old Mexico and it landed there too. It landed in the mountains and was lost for 3 weeks. Doohan did have Alzheimer's at the end of his life, maybe he just wondered off.

So what happens now? he sits in a vase on the mantelpiece while his 31 year-old widow looks after their 5 year-old and entertains her boyfriends? seems like a bit of a con to me, maybe they also do burials at sea from inside their bathrooms, a Viking funeral on the barbecue or yer more conventional burials were you're put into a skip and end up at a land fill.

I don't care what happens to me when I'm dead, its not like I'll feel it. Maybe I'd like to be varnished till I'm solid and water proof and used by the village elders to de-flower young gurls in some kind of Pagan entering womanhood ceremony .

Remember water proof not water resistant theres another con, things are only water resistant until they actually get wet then they are well ruined , and when you buy a watch thats shock proof what are ya a mong? who the fuck jumps out and scares watches? while we're on the subject, those self winding watches, all lies. I got this big fuck off Sekonda self winding watch, I sat it doon on the table and waited, 3 days had passed and never once did it wind itself up cos I was watching.