Fart Proudly

Sometimes old people don't know they have farted until they feel the wet patch.

Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in Devon has banned a 77-year-old Maurice Fox from breaking wind while indoors. He got a letter saying his actions had disgusted other members and could he stay near the front door so he could leave when required to blow off .

I am disgusted, firstly at the name Maurice and secondly I didn't fight the Germans at pearl Harbour the Japs at El Alamein and the Zebulons on Rixar 5 just so an old man could be denied the freedom to let off a juicy one where ever he pleases.

This sort of in- fighting is the very thing that Al Qaeda loves to see. Kirkham Street Sports are just as bad as Hitler and Osama, you fucking fart nazis and terrorist enablers .

Mr Fox has been a club member for 20 years and knows that sometimes he gets windy and calls himself an old fart. Was it not Shakespeare who said " where ever you be let yer wind go free, for that's what killed me Horatio ?" I don't know to be honest because Shakespeare was overrated crap.

Mr Fox said he said that he had not received any verbal warnings, I'm not surprised he probably sits alone in his own cloud, he thinks someone complained about the noise as he is a loud farter but there is no smell.

Palace Place club another club where Mr Fox also goes has had no problem as they hold regular fart lighting competitions.

I am disgusted at this man's liberty being trampled upon , sure the UK is not a free country as there is no such thing but farts go back into history as far back as William the Conqueror in 1066 when he got off his boat to invade England he ripped off a wet one and said, "good arse I thought you were dead" which highly amused his troops and lifted moral enough to beat Harold's army.

It is thought that if Churchill hadn't of farted as much as he did then we wouldn't have defeated Hitler who himself was an much admired breaker of wind .

First smoking and now farting, welcome to the Soviet state.

Mr Fox, the time for honesty is over and guerilla tactics are called for, if you fart pick someone as a patsy and exclaim loudly " Jim, you stinking shite" or partake in the silent but deadly farts , once you do it move on to somewhere and then come back and yet again blame yer patsy again, soon everyone will be believing Jim to be the Connaisseur of his own brand and he shall be the outcast not you.

I'm Special

An invite I got in my comments:

You are chosen to represent your country in the first international blog WUB (World United Bloggers)

The aim of this blog is to prove to the world that differences in language, religion,race and nationality do not make us hate each other and we can make this world better if we express our opinions with respect to others.

Wow I always knew I was one of the chosen, when yer Scottish you are blessed by the presence of god and often hear his voice (why does he keep telling me to kill the hoors?) I looked up WUB and it seems to be what it says it is, no idea why I was picked though as I believe that all dirty foreigners should be made to speak English and forced conversion to Presbyterianism the religion of love and reason should be worldwide.

I mean the world is 5000 years old if they don't have their act together by now they never will, anything east of the filthy Danube river is stone age and savage and should bow to the British empire.

To be honest I hate all people though I don't hate my readers and fellow bloggers as much as say Johnny wog fella with the RPG aimed at the US Humvee that's trying to liberate him so feel my harsh love now you plebs.

I do believe in free speech.................. to a point, Britain doesn't have free speech and I've never had a problem with that because you can say whatever you want as long as you aren't inciting violence, threatening with intent or telling little children to fuck off cos Santa died of a heart attack (that's the last time I'll work as Santa's helper over Christmas time) even America that constantly drones on about their freedoms aren't free, they are as free as the government lets them be (the way it is everywhere) when Bush appears somewhere and there are protests, the protesters are moved to a 'free speech area' fenced off and out of the way, if you've ever read the free speech rules you do see a lot of terms and conditions that the average Yank doesn't know about which is why they think they can say what they like.

When Mel Gibson was asked a sensible educated question about one of his films ,he didn't like the question so he told the woman to fuck off and they threw her out.

When Michael Richards was heckled by a loud mouthed coloured chappy who tried to spoil the audience enjoyment of the show Richards lost it and told him 50 years ago he'd hang him from a tree and stick a fork in his arse, Richards had to suck up to the black community as he did not have freedom of speech or the right to a racist opinion at that time.

When John Kerry was heckled by a student, the student was Tasered much to my delight as I don't like student much.

You have the right to freedom of speech, that may be taken away from you at anytime, you have the right to remain silent if others don't like what you say.

George Orwell said: "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear."

Like much in America its all good in theory but doesn't live up to reality.

Ach in a civilised country like the UK we just throw eggs and yell a lot to get out point across, its a system that's worked well for centuries.

The person from Egypt who invited me to the WUB, lists on his profile that the Quran was his favourite book, maybe he didn't look doon my side bar where it says "Anyone here whose prophet had sex with a nine year old raise your Koran" well I don't think an invite to an idealistic hippy blog should really be made in the comments on a post with a picture of a guy with his finger up his nose, maybe that's normal for an Egyptian as is sleeping with a nine year old probably . Nice try Mahmoud I know yer behind it.

I pointed out on another blog that Muslims are viewed as the human versions of spiders at the minute by the west, different religions and nationalities all take a turn at it, they aren't anything special.

You see a spider, you go on alert, keep an eye on it or avoid it and maybe yer first instinct would be to squish it cos you just don't like the look of it . Then you get the odd person that doesn't mind spiders or at least says they don't and those who like them .

I am tolerant of others beliefs and races, yep I tolerate all the bastards until my government declares war and tells me I won't go to prison for killing them its war, alls fair then.

Mahmoud inviting me to do yer blogging for you won't work, next time you get an angle how about you read my blog first, my minds a maze and my rat is lost. Cha-Chow!

Suck on my tolerance .