Like All The Greats I Am In Exile

Awaiting me time to rise up against the oppressive forces that drove me away from me homeland.


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Have My People Kill Yer People

I did not have sex with that blogger!

Many dismiss Old Knudsen as a loony who takes too much pain medication and is attracted to Thai Gurly-boys. Well that maybe so but I know things.............. important things.

Scott McClellan the former Whitehoose spokesman unexpectedly came out with his memoirs called 'What happened' not a question but more likely telling it as it is.

The book harshly criticises Lord Darth Bush for doing his job and what nearly ever other president has done during their time in office, abused power for own agenda, told lies and started wars.

Well McCellan needed help on his book from a writer of vast experience and so I was the obvious choice. He even let me publish this story way back in March on my little news blog. Just goes to show you folks how in touch I am.

He says hes dedicated his book to me but I've yet to see it. He says it says, "To Soren thank you for that wonderful night we shared I shall never forget you."

For yer information we had dinner, went and saw Atonement at the cinema, painted each others nails and then took our shirts off and wrestled, nothing ghey so get yer minds out of the gutter.

On to issues that matter. Is top model Kerry Marie fat or sexy?

Ah my Venus of Willendorf. I think she is fat and sexy, I'd totally tap that arse as the young uns say and I'd ride her too.


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If The Cap Fits

Honourary Bitter Balls George Clooney finally came out of the closet to tell the world of his love for me, Old Knudsen. Its an honest pure kind of love so I don't want to hear about yer jealously.
He wore the cap impregnated with my DNA and spoke of how he loves to pop the pimples on my back but won't lance the boils. About the time at his home on lake Perry Como in Italy when we giggled on expensive wine and talked of many things and fell asleep spooning together under the stars.

Its not ghey so stow that talk its man love and can only make the world a better place, now if he would only give me a poke at his weemen friends that might be nice. Before you cunts go asking inappropriate things and condemning his brave move I'm a taker not a giver and hes hung like a soft bristled toothbrush.

Latest OBB News Up-Dates

A Great Week If Yer Scottish.

The Palestinians gained respect for Alan when he bested 4 of their strongest warriors in combat to the death.

Johnston the BBC reporter has been released by his kidnappers in Gaza after nearly four months in captivity.

He later appeared beside Hamas leader Ismail Haniya and thanked everyone who had worked for his release especially Old Knudsen who had the "Free Alan Johnson" banner in his blog's sidebar.

Rallies worldwide had called for Mr Johnston's release. An online petition was signed by some 200,000 people.

A senior Hamas official, Mahmoud Zahar, said no deal was done with the kidnappers to secure Mr Johnston's release and that Hamas did not work towards the release "to receive favours from the British government," which is good because soon you cunts will be out.

"We did this because of humanitarian concern, and to achieve a government aim to extend security to all without fear." He said with a straight face.

Mr Johnston commented. "The last 16 weeks have been the very worst of my life," he said. "I was in the hands of people who were dangerous and unpredictable and who smelled like goat sex."

"I literally dreamt many times of being free and always woke up back in that room with a sand savage touching me up and feeling sticky."

Mr Johnston said he was not tortured during captivity but he did fall ill from the food he was served, "The sheep piss flaps kebabs just weren't to my tastes."

When asked what he missed most during his time in captivity he said," Not reading Old Knudsen the best Blogger in the world."

Ach lad I'm blushing I missed you too now get yer hair cut ya hippy.

Another reason to be glad that yer Scottish and not a dirty Sassenach or Frenchy.

John Smeaton, the baggage handler who helped tackle the idiot Glasgow Airport bombers has become an internet celebrity .A Tribute website aims at buying Smeato as I call him 1,000 pints, so far 500 have been pledged. To buy him a pint and to read more about his greatness visit, http://www.johnsmeaton.com/

The hero was out smoking a fag when his smoke break was rudely interrupted by two slitty eyed mongs who attempted a "cry for help" bombing. Smeato held his ciggie between his lips and grabbed the barbequed bombers, giving them a good old Raintown smacking . "what" ::smack::: "where" :::smack:::"you" :::smack::::"thinking?"

It makes me wonder how the whole Iran taking of our service people would have went doon if they had been Glaswegians instead of soft English.

Sandsavage: "Put down your weapons or we shall open fire."

Glaswegians: :::after the laughing had died doon::: "Away and fuck wee man." :::opens fire:::

Sandsavages get a taste of hard Scottish cock before they die, national pride upheld and the Iranians re-think the invasion.

For a great post on "Smeato the bane of Allah" read THIS by Clairwil .

John Smeaton now joins the ranks of Honourary Bitter Balls for not using a splash guard when tackling burning terrorists.