Pedo No Touching! Pedo No Touching!

I turned on a TV show called Dora the Explorer. I thought it was like that book 'The Rainbow' about the sexual awakening of a young woman. What I found was totally disgusting and damn well irresponsible.

You have this little Hispanic gurl named Dora. I don't know how old she is but she is young and by the size of her head she is doon syndrome or something. She has a pet monkey named 'Boots' who wears ............... boots, a monkey does not make a very good pet. I brought one home from my trip to Zambia once and caused an outbreak of Ebola in Killamory, you probably read about it in the papers small world isn't it?

Little simple Dora goes around jungles, oceans and mountains unsupervised except for her poo flinging companion and talks to all manner of strange beings such as Trolls, talking bulls and a big red Rooster or Cock if you will.

I had this all weekend sex fest once and I was left with a big red cock at the end of it all and really it wasn't in the mood for talking. Rubbed Raw not to be confused with that cattle rustling cunt Rob Roy.

Where are her parents? they don't care they just give her a backpack and a map, no fucking lunch or mobile phone, at least they could give her some margarine and sugar sandwiches .


"Today we are going to uncle Pedro's hoose. He is a sex offender who has just been let out for good behaviour. How do we get to Pedro the Pedo's hoose?"

"First we go to the titty bar, liquor store then Pedro's hoose."

I have called Child protective services many times only to have police Nazis cum to my door and tell me to stop making nuisance phone calls. Well maybe Americans don't care about their young uns but I believe that children are our future ............. or worse case scenario a source of food. Its bad that I get dinged for caring. Well from now on you'll see a different less caring Old Knudsen because you don't get any thanks for being a good person.


Now don't fucking annoy me with yer stupid causes I'm way too busy aiding in the exploitation of weemen who secretly love it. Now wiggle yer way over here lass I've got some Nickels to put into yer G-string, thats 5 cents right? I get confused as a dime is 10 cents and is smaller in size ......... stupid Yanks.
Slavs annoy the fuck out of me (no offense Tony you dirty 3rd world savage) and this is the only pole I want to see a gurl grinding up and doon on.


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Chinky Monkey Love

Part Burt Reynolds part Jim Morrison in his sexy leather trousers.

Yes ladies today is yer lucky day.The world's hairiest man is looking for a new girlfriend on the Interweb after a recent breakup from .

Imagine this on top of you going for it. The poor lad still has to worry about going bald.

Yu Zhenhuan aged 26, has pube like hair covering 96 % of his body only the palms of his hands and the soles of his feet are hair free.

I know I'm not the only one who wonders about the size of midget's cocks so I'm wondering if his willy is like a bottle brush, does he shave it? does the shit get matted around his arse?

Hmmm I'm pondering today. E-mail for love . maohaihairylove@hotmail.com

His condition is called atavism. Yu has had operations to remove hair from his nose and ears and repair his gums, which were engulfing his teeth.

He had a tough childhood and says:

"People laughed at me and called me 'caveman'. I used to throw stones back and fight them as a kid, but now I've grown up and learnt how to endure it."

Hello ladies I'm all sweet with no sour. I melt in yer mouth and not in yer hand.

Well its only right that people make fun of him that's why God makes these freaks. I would have went for 'Yeti' or made jokes about getting mistaken for a dog and ending up in the pot, c'mon people if yer gonna call him 'caveman' at least make it 'Captain Caveman' for a nation that built such a great wall they can be fucking dense at times. 'Pubic enemy # 1' see? now that's how I roll.

Beast boy plays the guitar, weemen go nuts over that sort of stuff, it even gets Dive his hole. He is also learning the saxophone so at least he'll get the odd fat intern to suck him off, she'll be picking hairs out of her teeth for weeks.

He sings cover versions but is starting to write his own songs. He makes a living singing in pubs anything from Sting to Nat King Cole so this lad is fucking cool, well he would be if he wasn't covered in pubes and Chinese.

Here is his pet doggie "Eggroll" hes a good dog and a good dog like that you don't eat all at once.

Yu likes long walks on the beach, fetching sticks, romantic dinners and fisting.

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The Wanking Post

I worship the religion of Santeria which is an off shoot (pardon the pun) of Free Presbyterianism as any of you half educated half wits will know.

To give it its Scot's Gaelic name "Regla de Ocha" which loosely translated means 'The only true way and the rest of you are damned to burn in hell.'

Our way is a way of love (terms and conditions may apply) and we have our own version of the Bible as dictated to from God Himself to Angus McJobby in the year 666 BC .

We are a most enlightened Church and are against Gheys, Catholics, Jews, Slavs, Dirty Arabs and People of colour........... unless they are hot of course then they are ok we just don't notice.

Hot Asian gurly-boys are fine in my opinion and that of my minister and if you don't like them then you must be a gheyer or something.

I don't believe in evolution, just look at that word, isn't evol just a little bit too much like evil? and to evolve well nothing good can come of that. Why ask questions and think for yerself when you can just read the good book or ask yer pastor?

The world is 5000 years old and if you find anything older then that's the work of the Devil, simple enough to explain.

I believe in Intelligent design, if it was a bad idea would it be called intelligent? don't try logic on me, even though I only have one leg I can still run rings round you logically cos I got the smarts and God is on my side as the great Adolf Hitler once said and look at him, from a poor family to ruling Germany and most of Europe, the American dream but with lederhosen.

God made Adam and lilith but she was uppity and wouldn't make the tae when told to so, she then went off to fuck lots of Demons in a cave which is what the Slavs are descended from. Then God made a better more subservient woman named Eve who wasn't too bright and there was the whole original sin thing which I have never forgiven weemen for.

And so'eth did God remarketh, "Fucking weemen they just never listen."

"Luke, fling the poo."

Getting back to intelligent design, after mankind fought the apes for control of the world and wiped out the walking talking ones we were left with humans. Also left was the stupid monkeys and primates that fling poo and blog etc.

George W Bush the third or fourth most powerful man in the world could in no way share any kind of ancestry with apes. Balderdash I say.

Due to Intelligent design the primates still had opposable thumbs and what does any animal no matter how stupid do with the gift of opposable thumbs ? they masturbate.

Ever notice that given the power to tug the lad they will make full use of it and will be the only other creatures apart from superior humans that have sex for pleasure? monkeys and apes still don't have souls like all the other animals which is why they can't get into Heaven and why we eat them.

What disturbs me the most about this picture? the size of his knob or the furniture?

Disclaimer:
If anyone is outraged, insulted, disgusted or just remotely pissed off at this post then, Old Knudsen fuck yeah!

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Because Shes Worth It.

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Old Knudsen Seeks A Wife With Monkey Lips.

Now this is what I am talking about, c'mon men you've watched Songs of Praise and have been turned on by the close ups of the singers.

Do you hear the song birds singing in the trees? do you get beat up by a gang of thugs , smile and shake it off? well you must be in love. I Old Knudsen am in love, not a pure angelic love with the woman of my dreams high up on a pedestal, but a dirty, sweaty this will be over in a minute kind of love that leaves a stain and a musty odour.
I have mentioned song birds and angels and the target of my obsessive stalking is an angelic song bird named Meav . I don't know her last name and don't see that as a problem, shes a dirty Dubliner but my love is blind.

See why my love is blind? shes a cracker.

My beautiful Meav sings on the Celtic Woman CDs and concerts and when the camera settles on her as she holds a long note with her chest swelling I start to feel quite anxious.
It reminds me of when I was arguing with my 2nd wife over something silly like leaving loaded guns all over the hoose (the nazis do want me dead) and she said about her getting killed and how would I be able to life with myself then, well it took me all of 3 seconds to reply and I said, "as long as you die with yer mouth open making monkey lips I'll be ok, in fact our sex live might greatly improve".
No idea why that marriage failed, she must of secretly have been a leezer.
Here is a link to my darling Meav, and just remember shes mine.