Being A Hero Cums Naturally.

You may know British actor Edward Fox from such movies as Force 10 from Toblerone, The Bounty Bar and Day of the jackoff seen here holding the medal he received from the Queen the Token Of Fidelity and Fortitude or TOFF.

I like to sit and rememberise sometimes. Once I was on holiday in London staying in a crappy wee hotel in East Finchley, that was a right dive, at dinner time I was served by a smarmy waiter that would yell and argue with the cook all the while throwing pots and pans and then he'd cum through the swing doors, smile and quietly talk as if nothing had ever happened, the arguing made dinner take a long long time, he'd bring out a bit of bacon covered in some tomato and basil sauce for us to try and to keep us happy as we waited and then they'd get back to the shouting.

It was such a crappy place I had to go out and scour the streets for my own hookers don't worry, if you threw a stick you'd hit a working gurl, in fact I did many a time do that to get their attention, the Sassenachs doon south are a dozy lot, ungodly and immoral as well which is why you go doon there for a holiday, just ask any of the Yanks who were over here during the war.

The thing I remember about that trip most of all was not the weapons deal that went bad but saving the life of one of the royal family. It wasn't really a royal it was Edward Fox a thespian (which is Latin for poo pirate) he has played so many royals and has that posh accent its easy to get confused, well it confused someone.
A splinter cell of the Provisional IRA known as The really real and serious IRA wanted to cause mayhem and chaos by killing a royal. Mr Fox or Foxy as he now lets me call him was receiving an award from the Queen for his contribution in appearing smug and upper class in countless TV and film roles.

I was walking along the street checking the ground for change and cigarette butts when the car carrying Foxy was boxed in by black taxis, out jumped several masked gunmen with guns who then pumped the driver of the trapped car full of holes.
I stood and watched and thought to myself, "hang on a mo something is going on here" then I heard it, the accent I'd heard during countless of drunken pub fights and interrogations in Northern Ireland, one of the gun men shouted "get out of the caa to be sure" fucking paddies I'd teach them to discharge weapons within the city limit. I charged them knocking one to the ground and letting them step into my killing zone, I used one of their own guns to kill two of them and capture one the rest fled as if they were being chased by horny priests.

I was slightly wounded in the shoulder, merely a flesh wound and well you know the rest had you read any news papers in 1992, medals honours reuniting with the Queen and taking a shag doon memory lane with her, ah good days.

I sued the really real and serious IRA for mental anguish which put them out of business . Foxy still keeps in touch but hes a boring old cunt so I wish he wouldn't.

Yes Mongs Its Yer Turn.

Isn't she lovely? if it wasn't for my common birth and hatred of Germans I could be Old Knudsen consort to the Queen and the Grand old Duke of Earl. Of course I have banged her. Is That indescreet telling that? sorry I've got Asperger's syndrome and Tourettes "fucking tit wank" so its not my fault.

Before I forget, "pinch 'n' punch the first of the month and no returns", sorry I can't be there to pinch and punch you in person.


What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton?

You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.


From The Urban Dictionary

Asperger's syndrome

the only disorder where "sufferers" have fuck all in common with each other because all "symptoms" are normal personality traits that everyone in the world has at least one of.

There is no such thing as asperger's syndrome

Asperger's Syndrome

A state of mental existence often misdiagnosed as a disorder. Though this is probably to be expected, as people who do not benefit from Asperger's were the ones who decided to call it one.

Asperger's is a form of high-functioning autism that has effects such as the ability to focus intently and a level of logical thinking that almost rivals computers.
Asperger's people also have a lower tendency to care about social interactions and graces, which is likely why neurotypicals (normal folks, often abbreviated NT) consider them disabled.

Asperger's is no more a disorder than sleep is. If anything, the mind of an Asperger's individual is more organized than a normal person's.

Aspie

This term is an affectionate nickname for those with Asperger's syndromeIt was the idea of parents
relatives of aspies.
Aspies are healthy mentally, their brain's just wired a different way.
I am an Aspie. That is, a person with asperger's syndrome. Some of the definitions on asperger's on here are questionable at best, at worst, so ignorant as to be offensive.Someone who claims to be an aspie ((the one that mentions a pill about the size of a tic-tac)) would be more believable had they omitted the clause of it being made up.

Asparagus Syndrome

An unlucky cunt who is not only painfully autistic (asperger syndrome) but can't spell for shit (dyslexic)
He says he feels a lighter shade of yellow today but when I told him to write down "yellow", he wrote "hjsdf". He must have Asparagus Syndrome .

Aspergers

Aspergers Syndrome is a disorder similiar to Autism. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness.
They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest.
They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see.

The lead singer from the Vines has Aspergers Syndrome who ever he is.
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Its a cop out for those with undeveloped social skills cos they are just thick and unimaginative, also the cultural divide happens too, a lot of yanks get so lost on my Blog because they don't know the cultural references or the surrealism is a bit too surreal for them, such basic stuff to me but I could put them doon as having Aspergers that would be 80% of America, they get all the hip mental illnesses and buzzwords first. I know there are autistic people out there I've seen Rain man I just think people are more quick to give themselves a label and and excuse than try to overcome. FUCKER, sorry one slipped out .