Love To Love Ya Baby

A poll of 15,000 dirty weemen found that Germans are considered "too smelly and liked to force their way into places they had no right to go".

English lovers came second because they are so lazy which explains why all the main roads in England are built by the Irish, while men from Sweden were branded "too quick to finish" and came third or rather first.

Spanish men topped the table as the best lovers, followed by Brazilians and Italians. Having cum from large families they gain much of their experience from their siblings.

The poll, carried out by a global research site asked sluttish weemen who get around a fair bit from 20 countries to rate nations on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers.

Germans were deemed to have bad body odour, Englishmen were accused of letting women do all the work, whilst Swedes were a bit too quick to finish.

Men from Holland were "too rough" especially with their fingers and dykes and Americans were accused of being "too dominating" as having seen too much porn they like to direct in the bedroom.

Greek men were said to be a bit too soppy....................... ghey!

Other countries who didn't fare well in the poll were Scotland (too loud), Turkey (too sweaty) and Wales (too selfish).

Russian men crept in at tenth place amid accusations they are too hairy and drunk for the average woman also their judicial system was corrupt having only 2 of the 15 big murder cases over the years solved.

A spokesperson added: ''These results are an eye-opener for thousands of men around the world and female travellers might judge potential new lovers by looking at these results.'' Old Knudsen certainly will.

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:

1. Germany (too smelly)

2. England (too lazy)

3. Sweden (too quick)

4. Holland (too rough)

5. America (too dominating)

6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)

7. Wales (too selfish)

8. Scotland (too loud)

9. Turkey (too sweaty)

10. Russia (too hairy)

WORLD'S BEST LOVERS

1. Spain

2. Brazil

3. Italy

4. France

5. Ireland

6. South Africa

7. Australia

8. New Zealand

9. Denmark

10. Canada

To defend my beautiful Scotland which I don't really think I have to as I wasn't polled, what is wrong with being loud? Old Knudsen may like to rip off the odd fart as he pumps away but ya can hardly hear them over the sound of ' My sweet Killamory.'

"The old cock crows with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.
Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory."

Old Knudsen has only made it through all 12 verses once and just got into Scotland the brave before he yelled FFFFRRREEEEDDDOOOMMMM! ask yer Ma.

I see that as having colour and making it a more Scottish experience I mean whatever Spain,Brazil,Italy,France all fuck with their mouths and fight wae their feet. Is Ireland a real cuntry? South Africa yeah right they forgot to add they throw a tire around yer neck after and burn ya alive, Australia is famous for its men and their considerate ways towards weemen and is New Zealand not the same place? Denmark should have done better and my Knudsen blood curdles in disgust and Canada? Everyone knows Canadians are so boring that they fall asleep during sex but hey they are very polite with the wipes. There is only one Canadian that makes the grade and I suspect he may have some Scottish in him.

Old Knudsen never has any luck with the dolphins but Donn can charm anything with or without a heartbeat.

BRB Cuntyknocker

After Mexico I'm back to my humdrum life again except former movie star James Mason called round and gave me an envelope with a job assignment from 'The Company' inside it.

The money is good but they have cut way back on the health benefits. I didn't invite Mason in as he tends to let off those silent but deadly farts and besides I don't want him sitting on me sofa having died in 1984 and all.


Someone had a pet Donn and released him into the sewer when he got too big and now people are complaining about hands coming up their toilets and tickling their bums. Donn laughs at U-bends.

The thing I hate aboot Canada is that if you eat anything while there yer soul is trapped forever and you don't even know until you die and are condemned to an eternity of eating used cat litter covered in bull jizz, er sorry I mean poutine.
Also if you fall asleep in Canada a pod takes over yer body and you become an emotionless zombie only suited to a career in the service industry.

In Irish mythology the hero Coo coo culane or hound of Ulster fought the evil Canadian witch Madge and during the battle Coo coo said "look some fecker just rear ended yer chariot" and when she looked he stuck his dick in her thus winning and giving birth to the Manitobes who are half man and half tobe, very warlike in their ways except when it cums to a ho-doon.

Then there was the famous Captain Rehab who was out sailing one day looking for giant white dick when he spotted a Manitobe canoe just off the coast of Moby. The natives on the canoe wanted to trade their crack for some DVD's and when one of them was only going to trade 2 cracks for Terms of endearment the first mate Ishmael drew his sword and sliced the ear off the Manitobe warrior thus starting the six day war which was really seven days but the last day was a Witches Sabot which meant that all the banks were closed and there was no mail service that day.

Where is this post going ? you must be asking yerselves right now that is apart from those who just scanned it for tit pics and clicked off again. Oh very sorry if there is more to Old Knudsen than to satisfy yer filthy cravings, is it difficult to wank in a toilet stall at work while balancing yer lap top or yer bills?

Back when Old Knudsen had his genital warts spread all over his body only a handsome young man from Manitopia the main city of Manitobia would even talk to him. Everyone called Old Knudsen Thingy so then me and this buff and very flexible young turk became super heroes ........... like you do.
The Uncanny Badger and Thingy we were called. He would spend most of the day gelling his hair and gluing knives onto the back of his hands (it was the 80's) and I'd be scratching on the bog with me IBS.

We did solve a major crime once, well for Manitopia it was major. We roughly hassled a homeless man thus making him move it on to somewhere else.

No one thanked us but we weren't heroes to be thanked it was for the chicks, they love superheroes.

Lucky I didn't call myself Genital warts man like I was going to but I got some action.

During the Great war for civilisation I made a fortune digging ditches until civilisation was vanquished and we got to where we are now. Who the fuck likes wearing trousers anyway? The crow that swooped passed me today gave me a coded message about a secret group known as the Illuminati who have a plan of annihilating Vatican city with antimatter and limp noodles.

The message was: caw caw caw!

Or maybe: caw caw ............ caw!

I'm fucked if I can remember but who the fuck cares about Vatican city except Fenian cocksuckers?

Hey it was like that when I got here.

You'd be amazed at how many Catholic weemen will shag a man if he wears a black dress and tells them its the will of God.

So anyway is light grey the colour of violence or is that just me?

Old Knudsen thought he was on a vision quest after gluing some rubber soles onto the bottom of his favourite pair of old shoes. A Gecko which is some kind of lizard only found in and around the Wall Street area started to talk to him through the telly.

The Gecko had an English accent which Old Knudsen thought was strange and it talked about saving money on car insurance.

After Berwick Old Knudsen refuses to trust anything with an English accent.

Old Knudsen believes that car insurance is for the weak and if a black cat pisses onto yer car on a Wednesday you will be fully protected and remember ........ trust me on the sun screen.

Now you can wank.


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Donn Dream Believer

You can look at the original on his blog. While doon Mexico way picking up the Swine flu the lad was pointing north and thinking about Old Knudsen.

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You Won't Catch Swine Flu By Eating Bacon You Fucking Moron

This post is dedicated to Donn. Long may the memory of him live on in the hearts and minds of our children.


A type of flu that has pig, bird and human DNA may be out and about mostly killing off Mexicans. Since I doubt many Mexicans read my blog I can be safe in saying without losing any readers tough shit I don't know you.

Only a dirty Mexican would think about fucking a bird or a pig or a pig when they have the flu.

How dare they come up here looking for a better life working in demeaning jobs with poor safety regulations for shit pay, hold on a minute that sounds too much like the army.


*Anyway I'm still eating my eggs, bacon and any census takers,* I eat them with some Heinz baked beans and a nice bottle of beat the wife.

Pigs , chickens and cows are amazing animals and its an insult to God not to eat them, thats how I validate my Protestant Voodoo religion and condemn the rest.

I didn't catch The Spanish flu in 1918 mainly because I was in the tunnels under France fighting what is now known as The secret battles of World war one , The Hun had bred albino soldiers who had great night vision and as everyone knows there is a labyrinth of caves and tunnels under Europe and the northern part of Africa. Huge they are. Me and Knudsen's Badgers as our unit was called fought on until 1920, finally after running out of rations and ammo we gave them a jolly stern talking too and they sloped off back to Germany. Bullies are cowards at heart or so everyone that hasn't been bullied says.

I got decorated for my actions, mainly with tinsel and glitter it was fabulous!

Old Knudsen's tips on avoiding the flu as yer silly vaccinations won't help you with this one:

1) Cover whole body in cling film breathing through a straw blocked up with cotton wool.

3) Kill and burn anyone you see coughing.

4) Have sex with old Scottish bloggers with caps.

5) Avoid hospitals, aeroplanes and Catholic Chapels.

If you can only do one of these then make it the most important one apart from number 4 . Number 2 will undoubtedly save yer life and is quite easy to do. DO IT NOW!


I am trying to get published in the world of scientific academia and am currently working on a feces about how obviously all diseases cum from Germany as it has the word germ in it and if you say it fast you can call it Germy and the people who live there Germ-mans. Germ any?

I may soon be asked to go to Helsinki, Sweden to collect a noble piece prize. Fingers crossed folks.

What if you have sex with someone who had sex with someone that ate bacon? will you still get it?

When you have sex with someone you are having sex with everyone they have had sex with and many of those may have had intimate contact with swine, pigs and real boars .


What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.


*While Old Knudsen knows you can't catch the flu from playing with yer food he wants to assure the people that eggs, bacon and people are safe to consume.*


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It Ain't Over Til The Fat Lady Pleads

Karen Ferguson a 700-pound woman (Texas of course) who pleaded for help finding health care on TV got a local rehabilitation clinic accepted her case.

It seems that going on the telly is the only way to gets things in this cuntry as she has been turned doon by nursing homes because of a problem with her insurance. She has diabetes and bed sores and hasn't left her trailer home in a year, let me guess its a double wide.

She expressed her fears of remaining bed-ridden for the rest of her life as her bed sores fester and her body deteriorates but doesn't do anything about it.

"That's the worst thing I could ever imagine," Ferguson said

A couple of years ago when she was a sprightly 300lbs she had open heart surgery. Why bother I ask?

That is the story and now what Old Knudsen thinks and what you should also think .

First of all Texas, WTF? is wrong with that place? Does the government do secret mong experiments on Texas and Florida by spraying the air or infecting the water ?

The left-wing touchy feely people who say you shouldn't racially profile and think alcoholism, drug and sex addiction are illnesses probably think this is an illness too. Those poor smokers and their cancers, they give those who get cancer the honest way a bad name.

Then in that same vein of reasoning we can call Hitler's genocide of the jews, gheys and tinkers etc an illness so therefore he is not to be held accountable. He needed Prozac for his superiority complex.

No one should be held accountable for their actions in case its an illness. "Please help me my liver is dying due to years of drinking" och poor man no wonder he couldn't afford child support he had an illness.

I accept lack of self respect and maybe depression would get you to 700 lbs. It has never got Old Knudsen to 700 lbs maybe he isn't ill enough or maybe he just isn't a big fat lazy cunt.

Kill yerself with eating sure but I don't want to see the rolls of fat or the resources yer using up. Ferguson's ankles cannot support her weight therefore she should be left for the wolves as she rolls around like a turtle on its back.


Who is giving these lazy fuckers food? a year of dieting might do you good, c'mon if you don't like healthy eating and small portions get up and do something about it, oh thats right you can't even use the shitter.

Her age was never mentioned nor were her family so I suspect this story that is being presented as a sad tale is really a fat tale of enabling and guilt.

Is it love to enable these people and feed them Happy meals all day long because that is what they want?

To Old Knudsen this kind of life seems to be the American dream.

If you really hate yerself then kill yerself in a faster way and stop making the rest of us suffer, do yer family want to wipe yer arse and under yer fat rolls ?

What does she offer her family who feed her KFC bargain buckets? moral support? is she funny as fuck? does she wash the dishes?

I'm seen plenty of this shit in real life, a low education level and I bet she gets a nice wee pension or disability income because she has medical problems due to being fat. I also bet she has a car that she can no longer use and so it makes sense her son or daughter uses it.

I bet she has friends and family that think plaid shirts and combing yer mullet is dressing up.

Old Knudsen has no sympathy for those who let themselves go to the level of being useless and refuse to educate yerself because you didn't like school and blame everyone but yerself . If you can't respect yerself then how can I?

Am I being harsh on fat fucks , mongs, drunkards and druggies? What about those poor pedos that were abused as kids and so feel they must abuse too?

For fuck sake its yer choice and you reap what you sow it isn't rocket science. action re-action.





If Old Knudsen dusted off his Heckler & Koch MSG90A1 with scope that so happens to be

Old Knudsen's weapon of the day

and went out and shot all those fuckers that annoy him a SWAT team may be called and while Old Knudsen would take a few doon with him he may be fatally shot.

While many would applaud the latter part Old Knudsen has not accomplished many of his dreams . Yes they do include Gerard Butler, Donn, Rachel McAdams along with many more also rope, privacy and duct tape.

So Old Knudsen can see if he did this what would happen so therefore won't be doing it until his dreams are completed .

Consider this an uplifting learning post.



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I'll Be Yer Wing-Man

Just before MJ went into rehab she firmly grasped my arm and asked if I had any Charlie on me, I replied to her that I only wear Old Spice or Brute.

When she could control her shaking again she warned me not to let Donn talk me into things. What is Old Knudsen some kind of fool? so any way Donn asked me if I had a bike. I answered no which seemed to bum him out so I said I could have one in a few hours as I know where a college is.

Donn brightened up at this news and said it would be a personal favour and one he would be very grateful for if I became a temporary Canadian citizen and joined their cycling team that is intent upon winning this years Tour De France which I believe will be held in France .

Donn has had a feud nay hatred of Lance Armstrong for many a year now ever since the Rock paper scissor incident of 02. I still say Armstrong hesitated and Donn's rock should have won but not being the ref I had no say, not even my petition of 10,000 names could sway the RPS club of Canada.

I shall aid Donn in his efforts to out do Armstrong in the 96th race. I have since procured a bicycle, it was over at the Mini Mart, I'm sure a BMX will do the job.



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Easter Has Cum!

Easter is a time of birth and growth and if you believe in the circle of life crap then the earth is being reborn again.
Well not the whole earth but details are not important.


A time of transformation when the mighty Egatrons awake and vow to destroy all of humanity unless they get a lube job.

Its for children to eat chocolate and learn cute and vague stories about eggs and the Easter bunny who saved the life of Jesus by pulling a thorn from his forehead.


Chocolate being a laxative should be used responsibly.

Its about sex you fools ...................... sow yer seeds get it on, half the animal kingdom is which is why you see more roadkill at this time of year. Not thinking too clearly.


I have nothing for you here so fuck off to MJ's blog as she has something going on. If fact she has it all going on. Maybe Donn will be there :::::::::sighs:::::::::::

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Do You Know What I Hate?

Mean people, cruelty to cute puppies, kittens and seal cubs (the ugly ones can fuck off and die) and having one in the chamber and no time to wank.


I watched this film called Shoot em up its a camp over the top mass of action silliness and bullets, yeah its no three bad.
Clive Owen who I sometimes like and mostly hate is mystery man Mr Smith who likes hookers and carrots and is almost supernatural with a gun (Old Knudsen is better) the thing is his character is extremely angry, FUCK! I hate that type of people.

One line in the movie is:

Do you know what I hate? I hate these forty-year-old jack-holes wearing ponytails. That pony tail doesn't make you look hip, young, or cool.


Smith shoots a ponytail henchmen in the head


I like to watch people on the path outside as they walk past my villa. I saw this 40 something tanned man with greying hair done up into a long ponytail. Pretty bad wouldn't you think but he also had a sweat shirt, blue jeans and a set of small dumbbells which he carefully worked on. His poor image crime was topped by a pair of very clean white trainers on his feet.

Ok jeans and white trainers maybe during the 80's if you were youngish but that seems to be the look many middle aged sad sacks go for. Some weemen can get away with it as long as they are used for work-outs but guys think BLACK! and don't be afraid to get dirty.


The ponytail distracts from yer fat hideous features good move.



This workout guru is just fucked no matter what he wears. He is a complete tool. Its bad when Old Knudsen dictates fashion but it has to be said. I also hate it when twats are called Guru's even when they are a Guru. " So I'm a plumber," says guy #1 "Well I'm a Guru or I.T. specialist if you will." ................... TWAT!



The frontman of the British pop/pretend rock group 'Status Quo' Francis Rossi took 35 years before he realised what a twat he looked before he cut his off. Then again hes done so much coke it made his nose cave in .................... his music still sounded shite no matter how much drugs he took.


I also hate Vin Diesel. After Iron Giant I held out hope for him but now I don't. Blow yer nose ya sequel loving fast and fuzzy slap head . Of course IBS is a serious matter and if I ruled the world I'd tell those with Aids and Cancer to suck it up, all the research and funding is going to find a cure for IBS.

I went to a convention about IBS once and it was just boring men in suits talking about taxes, no wonder people are dying out there.




Speaking of dying I hate it when people say 'I'm starving' because the fat fucker hasn't ate in 3 hours, or starving to death as I skipped lunch. Or I'm dying of the cold. What a load of pampered never suffered in their lives cunts.

Go to a prison in Zimbabwe they get one small bowl of corn gruel a day if they are lucky. Now prisoners and criminals can die in my opinion but I doubt the prisons of Robert Mugabe are full of guilty people, those types seems to join the Zimbabwean police or government.

Or people that say 'oh I could never eat that or I could never take another human life' well you just haven't been desperate enough yet, pray you never are.


Old Knudsen likes to end his posts in a positive way. I do enjoy a nicely presented pair of tits. Sure stuff em, prop them up, lie to me I just like the sight of of well presented baps.



I also like Rachel McAdams, I'd use her shite for toothpaste if I believed in tooth brushing.


I also like Donnverine but he doesn't know I exist ............ except he really does. I think I shall rename all my children 'Donn' and my penis is no longer named Kenny, he is now 'Donny' you have to put a 'Y' or 'IE' on the end of some names, its a cultural thing.

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Fuck My Other Post Donn Is Back

Yes I have a reason to live yet again, Donn Coppens has returned! Like Jesus or MacArthur, not like me Da who took 12 years to get a packet of fags from the shap.

Donn can charm the fish from the sea with his muscular arms and winning smile, they smile as he fillets them.

Donn once ran into an orphanage that was on flames and rescued all 112 orphans and their cute wee puppies.

Donn once wrestled a bear,

It was for the bear wrestling championships. He could see that baldy bear needed to win to keep his title and the respect of his young crippled son Timmy. Donn who is always in his prime could have snapped baldy bear in two but instead he lost on purpose.

Donn has been asked twice to rule the world so there can be 1000 years of love and peace, he said no as he wanted to spend more time with his family and work on his poetry that he sells giving all proceeds to charity.

An ultra top super duper secret file that Old Knudsen happened to photograph for The Company says that Donn may not rule the world but has agreed to advise world leaders and would take command should the aliens invade ................. we look forward to 2012.


Ever so thoughtful, what did he bring you cunts back? Why do vomit diced carrots never taste like carrots?

So funny as well, he has a M.D. because laughter is the best medicine, he can cure aids with a knock knock joke.

Knock knock:

Whose there? says the lazy fucker who won't get up.

Cargo,

Cargo who?

Cargo Broooommmm! I'd like to tell you about the lord.

Well fuck off I don't want any!


Not this joke obviously but you get the point. Donn is so funny he even made up legal letters threatening to sue me for using his pictures on my blog and for using his image to sell pocket pussies in Japan.
What a brick!

Oops just got an e-mail from Google telling me to remove all Donn pictures or I'll be closed doon, ha! it just gets funnier and funnier.


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Pigsheart

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Donn Is Innocent

I'm 31% sure he didn't do all those things the Mexican and American governments said he did and even if he did do them are the laws in Mexico really applicable to Canadians ? In fact is there law in Mexico? Are witnesses and DNA really evidence?

Ok here is what we need, a kind hearted lawyer who will work for free and is fluent in Dora and Diego.

Donn is only guilty of one thing, having a smile that could melt the heart of a heartless person.

He did try to climb over the 4 foot high fence and into America with cocaine hidden in a penis extension. The border guards didn't fall for his almost American like ways. Saying oot and aboot did show the Doodlebops for what they are.

Dee Dee Doodle was the space fag hag to the inbreed alien poo pirates Moe and Rooney .......... Canadian aliens!

Donn was polite and boring which gave him away and so the immigration police have locked him up and he is awaiting deportation to the 3rd world cuntry of Canada, the poor bastard. All he wanted was a better life selling drugs to schools kids and thus boosting the economy. Two out of every $20 made went to his family up in Clothespeg . $2 would feed a family of 12 Clothespeggers of a week.

OBB's salutes you Donn and remember, no human being is illegal ................ except Canadians

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Intervention.

Donn cannot be trusted .................. the man who is vacationing in El Valharda in Mexico has gone native.

Seen here with some bad-ass Mexican Hombres he is swallowing the worm, playing loud polka music and shooting into the air, don't worry he now shoots off blanks.

Donn, assuming you don't get killed in a drug deal gone bad we love you and want you to cum home. People here care about you .................... I'm sure, so please let us help you help yerself with us helping.

If you are involved with the Nuestra Familia say hello to Carlos for me.


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Fuck The Matrix Take Both Pills

Picture courtesy of Homoescapeons who got it from the Matlock trilogy.

I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?

That was from Jason Bourne, I'd say "I can tell you some of the colours of a few of the cars outside, our waitress has nice tits, the guy sitting at the counter is a fat fuck and dumps foot long turds in the potty. The best place to look for a gun is taped to my right leg, I can run flat out for 10 yards before I cough up a lung."

Is reality or truth really worth pursuing? The blue pill will leave us as we are, in a life of comfort and habit and the of things we believe we know, what we are told in other words . To suspect but not to really think about things too much in case we don't like what we find or it doesn't suit us.

The red pill can help us to find the truth and will make us see through the lies . Its risky and can change yer whole life for the worse but at least you aren't living in a bubble wrapped lie. Its raw and nasty but oh so human.

On Donn's post which inspired my own because he makes me think and then I have to write my own take or version I commented what Chris Rock said:

If oblivion is bliss then what is the opposite? being ultra aware, which is hell.

Its not a matter of taking a pill and waking up, you have to wake up yerself, just like a pill won't make you slim or intelligent you have to do it yerself and not believe the media and computer made commercials that has fat people turn into fitness models within seconds. Why does Bowflex have super buff people working out in the ads? How stupid do they think we are? ok Bowflex owners own up, are Bowflex's good for hanging yer clothes on?

Scattered across this planet are people who are all very similar. One small group of these people are the intelligent, funny and easily bored. They may suffer from depression and a heightened sense of things which could make them into basket cases if they didn't block things out with glibness and inappropriate humour which sometimes leads to passionate rants and frustration.

Like being turned on to yer environment all the time. People watchers knowing who is in their killing zone always and getting angry at injustice half way across the world with people they don't even know.

Its very easy to grow tired of it all and become envious of those who are walking through life happy and as deep as a birth bath but at the same time you wouldn't give up seeing the truth for anything.

There are so many truths depending on who you talk too. like Old Knudsen says, "One man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist."

My empathy would run amok if I let it, feeling the terror and pain of a child's last moments as the pedo strangles them or the second of betrayal and confusion of a murder/suicide victim. Old Knudsen has to grow cold and learn to suppress or forget or he'd lose what marbles he has left.

Things happen in my mercurial mind in a matter of split seconds before I can tame them but by then the damage is done.

Here lies the truth of Old Knudsen, you may not agree with it but then again what the fuck do you know?

As a wise man once said, "The truth is out there."



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Bum Sex Friday

I'm no looking for a fatwa today, here is a fat wha the fuck? I don't have a post for today ....... well I actually wrote a ton of them then put them into drafts, you know me I'm never happy with my work so I just thought I'd chat and get to know a few of my readers, so anyone from Canada?

For fucks sake my IP blockers are shite.

I hope Donn doesn't mind me posting this picture of him suggestively licking the end of a handgun when he auditioned for broke back alleyway an Old Knudsen production. Well actually there wasn't any such film I just wanted to see what I could get Donn to do for the role. That lad is sure ambitious. Donn's blog has a habit of making me think and so my Monday post is inspired by him. Well I haven't written it yet but you know how it goes .............. he sure is lovely isn't he?


I've watched Lost from the beginning, it actually reminds me of when I was ship wrecked on an island once, not as nice as Hawaii where Lost is filmed. I had a load of others with me and we formed a type of government that worshiped a pig's head and we could only speak if we held the conch, yes it was quite similar to the Bush administration but instead of fucking up the island and my mates getting rich we fucked up the island and my mates became stew, no really Stew ate all my friends and would have got me too except me volleyball named Wilson crushed his skull with a rock while he slept, if you don't believe me ask me friend Ben.


You should not be reading this blog, you are too special to be doing that. You know you have a higher destiny just trust me for once and take off your top.


Battlestar Galactica has finished. I will miss the fine acting and amazing twists and turns the show took. What will I wank to on a friday night now? ok I do have the pictures of Donn.

Did you see the last episode? I don't want to spoil it if you haven't but I will anyway. For years and maybe even on this blog somewhere I've said about a spaceship called 'Heaven' landing on Earth and fucking the monkeys or at least genetically altering them with their own DNA, some tissue from a rib here and there but of course weemen were created first then they got it right and made men.

People called me mad, they called me a donkey raper, Old man Knudsen the flasher but oh no some cunt covers hot chicks in baby oil, says 'Frak' a lot and makes a badly lit TV show and before you know it Old Knudsen's story isn't his and now its cool. I had all this shit from Ray Bradbury but hey go ahead take my ideas and make a fortune Old Knudsen doesn't mind. Oh and fuck you Franklin and Edison, R-E-S-P-E-C-T for fucks sake.


"Have you heard the word of the Lard? its cunt"

Saddam Hussein has the same initials as Sherlock Holmes which leads me to believe he is still alive and living in ............................. Montreal. As the song goes, "I'm a dreamer Montreal" What old world charm that city has, some parts remind me more of France than France does, of course France is a shit hole.
The last time I was up in Montreal was 2001, I have family up in Canada, Toronto I believe but of course I wasn't going to go near them, young Jilly was shacking up with some Mexican lad and her mother Ruth my cousin on my mother's half sister's side wasn't too pleased. She was heavily into lipo suction but the fat just kept coming back, not very good for a law enforcer. She also had bad skin but a lovely gurl.

So anyway what was I saying? oh yeah I don't have a post today, sorry well no I'm not. I have Saturday and Sunday covered but today nope nothing.

What Saddam is saying in the picture is: "You .......... you are still dangerous, you can be my wingman anytime."

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