Showing posts with label Matt animal mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Matt animal mind. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Old Knudsen Ponders Stuff...................In The Arse

Nicolas Sarkozy the president of France is dating former model Carla Bruni, and it has even been suggested that they are to be married. Many frogs have complained that the affair is too publicised and the preez should be a little bit more discreet. They think he is paying more attention to her than running the country.
Now let me think, would I rather run a country full of cheese eating surrender monkeys or make mad monkey love with some hot chick?
Hmmm, thats a toughie let me think about that one more.


What would Jesus do? probably something about getting his feet oiled that kinky sod.


I saw this and I thought about Matt. I try not to think about him too much as my heart is still tender from last time, no I don't want to talk about it and I'm no crying, stop looking at me. He isn't as shallow as most men and will look past a woman's imperfections and as long as she is still a little warm hes willing to have a go at her, what a guy.

Since taking off his military uniform Pakistan's leader General Pervez Musharraf has gone wild. He has now blamed Benazir Bhutto for getting herself assassinated, he said something like she had to go and stick her head up through the sunroof.
What about the lack of police protection ? I bet he has armoured cars and has police holding the people back, oh that's right the Taliban like him why should he worry? stop being a cunt you cunt!

Mwai Kibaki came to a second term as president in Kenya after a vote that critics said was rigged. His tribe the Kikuyus and some others have been on the recieving end of the people's anger. Dozens of people who sought refuge in a church were burned alive and many more have been hacked to death in what amounts to genocide or ethnic cleansing whatever buzz words you want, I blame global warming. So far around 350 people have died and more than 30,000 have been displaced.
There are about 40 different tribes in Kenya and this violence is neighbour turning against neighbour in an act of shear stupidity as the ones being murdered had nothing to do with anything . The Brits got out of Kenya in 1963 and it has been one of the most stable countries in Africa, now its a butt fuck primative hole like the rest of the country.
Kenya gets the Old Knudsen look of disapproval. I did have a money making scheme to collect bird guano from the bottom of a kenyan lake to dry out and sell as compost but now the region has gone crazy I am now staying out of Africa.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Suicide Dating


Inspired by Matt of Animal mind who read the below post and admitted to having a date with an Arabic woman, that is so cool just think how many comedy opportunities there could be, he expressed a hope that she doesn't blow up the coffee hoose which is a good start. After this if you don't get yer hole then I don't know what.


1) where do you hide the bomb in that outfit ? (if she dresses scantily)
2) I take it the bomb strapped around yer waist is what is making you look chubby (if she wears a burka)
3) so do you ever get stoned?
4) My favourite Arabic dish is Chicken Jihad.
5) my mouths as dry as a camel's twat (make her feel at home)
6) I only call it a "pork sword" its all Matt meat baby totally kosher (kosher being a Muslim word shows yer a man of the world)
7) So Muhammad shagged a nine year old, just wondering, do you have any younger sisters? (shows you respect their traditions)
8) Israel, whats that about?
9) To test just how terroristy she is ask, "so how important do you think it is for pilots to learn how to land their plane safely?"
10) To be romantic sing Sunni and Shia "I got Jew babe" a song about beheading hot Jews.



Just be careful lad, those Arabs have a self destruct personality.