Reasons To Stay In Bed And Wank

The tourist industry is red hot in Pakistan right now.

Pervez Musharraf the totally trustworthy leader of Pakistan needs yer money. He puts Bob Geldoff to shame with his begging.
The US have been supporting and funding him to seek out and kill Al Qeada who have a stronghold in Pakistan but Musharraf isn't too good with keeping receipts so the money just fades away."How can we hunt doon Al Qeada when we only have one working helicopter"? he says.

"George I need some more money" " What happened to the 10 billion we gave you?" "well it just doesn't go as far as you think."

The US have given him over 10 billion dollars so far and strangely enough the only ones in the cuntry right now that aren't feeling the world wide recession is Al Qaeda who don't keep their money in banks, a lesson there for us all.
If you have a terrorist organisation and receive money from a sympathetic government who is conning a super power don't be tempted to put yer money into a 5 year tax exempt bank account to build interest, instead invest yer money in opium and AK-47's as they never go out of style or lose value.

Benazir Bhutto was feared by the west because she was a woman and not so military minded as Musharraf but at least she wouldn't be making the west look like dickheads by double dipping a true waste of potential and Musharraf got away with murder.


Miss Pakistan calls Musharraf a hunk I wonder what she would call me.

China who makes corners for the Pakkies to build their corner shops on have even turned them doon fo money, things are tight all over and Pakistan is one broken doon shit heap just don't forget they also have nukes.
In the wrong hands India might be bombed and then the west would be in turmoil, people will not be able to get through to call centres and millions of out sourced jobs would be lost ............... on second thoughts c'mon you lazy Al Qaeda cunts do I have to do all the thinking for yas?


A cold war dinosaur? and what about Putin?

Russia is also facing recession which is bad as they had just launched an offensive upon Georgia which is somewhere on the other side of the Rockies from me so I don't give a fuck. Putin is going on the cover of Playgurl to raise some money.

I have superior general knowledge to most Americans but this whole deep south thing confuses me. Alabama and Mississippi are in the deep south of America but Brazil is in south America and America is full of nuts and Brazil is where the nuts cum from so why is it only the black gurls in America that have those nice Brazilian arses?

All the Nazis went to south America after the war so why is the Pacific Northwest full of white supremacists ? are they going to try some kind of pincer attack? if so I'm ready.

The Modesty police forced me to write doon names of bloggers who dress like hoors, don't worry MJ you dress like a stripper.

Speaking of Nazis the Jews in Israel which is one fucked up holy land have been going round beating and stoning weemen for the way they dress. How modest do you have to be to join the Jewish Modesty police, "hey that was some brick you landed on her head" " it was nothing you threw a few good rocks yerself."

Religious fanatics of any kind should be tortured until they repent to the one true God of love and Presbyterianism and then burned at the stake as they were probably lying.

Governor Palin has been caught out again abusing her power, she has been putting her daughter's travelling expenses onto the state's bill. Two weeks to go and seriously who wants a liar who can't even avoid getting caught in the Whitehoose? have you not had enough of them?

Obama might pull out because his granny is dying, suck it up lad what are you 9? my granny died at the dinner table during Christmas dinner and we kept eating as its what she would have wanted, she was always the attention hoor anyway.



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Why Isn't The Earth Opening Up And Swallowing Me?

I just had to mention this incredibly tacky gaff made by Matt Lauer who is the host of a day-time talk show I don't watch called 'The Today Show'. Lauer is the bloke that had Tom Cruise ranting about antidepressants and unmasked him as Satan in case you don't know him from anything else.

Robert Kennedy Jr the son of the assassinated RFK in 1968 was on the show because he writes books. His latest was the story of an African-American Civil War hero. I'm not sure if the war was in Africa or America but thats besides the point.

Lauer asks “I just gotta ask…how's your Dad doing?”

Kennedy looks stunned for a second no doubt thinking over his answers, "um could be better" or " no change so far." Then he sees that Lauer isn't the brightest crayon in the box and figures out that he means his uncle Ted Kennedy who is taking his own sweet time in dying. Can someone not shoot that fat fuck?

Lauer recovered and just pretended it never happened but really how's yer dad doing? and how's yer uncle JFK? still getting the migrianes? You know who you don't see anymore? Benazir Bhuttor what ever happened to her career?

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Old Knudsen Ponders Stuff...................In The Arse

Nicolas Sarkozy the president of France is dating former model Carla Bruni, and it has even been suggested that they are to be married. Many frogs have complained that the affair is too publicised and the preez should be a little bit more discreet. They think he is paying more attention to her than running the country.
Now let me think, would I rather run a country full of cheese eating surrender monkeys or make mad monkey love with some hot chick?

Hmmm, thats a toughie let me think about that one more.

What would Jesus do? probably something about getting his feet oiled that kinky sod.

I saw this and I thought about Matt. I try not to think about him too much as my heart is still tender from last time, no I don't want to talk about it and I'm no crying, stop looking at me. He isn't as shallow as most men and will look past a woman's imperfections and as long as she is still a little warm hes willing to have a go at her, what a guy.

Since taking off his military uniform Pakistan's leader General Pervez Musharraf has gone wild. He has now blamed Benazir Bhutto for getting herself assassinated, he said something like she had to go and stick her head up through the sunroof.

What about the lack of police protection ? I bet he has armoured cars and has police holding the people back, oh that's right the Taliban like him why should he worry? stop being a cunt you cunt!

Mwai Kibaki came to a second term as president in Kenya after a vote that critics said was rigged. His tribe the Kikuyus and some others have been on the recieving end of the people's anger. Dozens of people who sought refuge in a church were burned alive and many more have been hacked to death in what amounts to genocide or ethnic cleansing whatever buzz words you want, I blame global warming. So far around 350 people have died and more than 30,000 have been displaced.

There are about 40 different tribes in Kenya and this violence is neighbour turning against neighbour in an act of shear stupidity as the ones being murdered had nothing to do with anything . The Brits got out of Kenya in 1963 and it has been one of the most stable countries in Africa, now its a butt fuck primative hole like the rest of the country.

Kenya gets the Old Knudsen look of disapproval. I did have a money making scheme to collect bird guano from the bottom of a kenyan lake to dry out and sell as compost but now the region has gone crazy I am now staying out of Africa.

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Looking Back And A New Beginning

My first post of the new year, yep 2008. I'm going to make this an inspirational post full of hope, love and the promise of a better tomorrow today, assuming today is fine with you, if not can you pencil me in for later in the week? afternoon please as I don't do mornings.

It is written in the Bible (somewhere at the back) "And so'th the lamb shall lay doon in the mint sauce and the polar bear will share a Coca Cola with the wolf and peace shall reign doon for a thousand years."

The translation from Aramaic is a little dodgy and it might have been "And piss shall rain doon ."

If George and Mahmoud can be friends then why can't I be friends with all the horrible cunts that read me not to mention who spammed me for over two months this year. I shall visit yer blogs more often and pretend to like you all in the coming year............................................this may be a total lie.

This year has had its ups and doons, its ins and outs, its ramming and thrusting. I've done things that I'm not proud of.

Yer Ma being one of them but I did her just so I could do a post about it.

I recently won the Palitzer Prize for my news blog, I still haven't got my cunting prize money yet but I hear its the honour that counts.

It was sad when the Grinch went ape shit and shot up that town, that sad young Grinch had some serious Christmas issues.

While there are weemen like this one I have hope for the world and my wank bank. I do wish she would tuck in her underwear, is that sexy? yeah as sexy as those low rider jeans, got a bad looking arse then make it look worse.

Ah fuck it and fuck you, another year full of the same old shite, tits, arse and midget sex. Those who have wronged me last year I hope you die in a fire and those who will wrong me this year I hope you get mauled by a tiger on yer birthday.

Al Qaeda and Global warming are getting together for a super group and we are all fucked. Didn't I tell you about Bhutto? no Taliban or Al Qaeda cunt is taking responsibility for it, even the IRA are keeping quiet, how stupid do you have to be? The 140 who died by suicide bomber when Bhutto first turned up in Pakistan wasn't even investigated.

Musharraf did it. People say oh Bhutto would have let US troops come into Pakistan and that worried the Taliban, the fuck it would, as if the Ragheads are afraid of the US troops, that would of helped their cause. Musharraf had the most to lose as Bhutto had a chance of winning the election.

In 1979 the Queen's cousin Lord Mountbatten who was in charge of the Burma campaign or the forgotten war of world war II was blown up on his boat by the IRA while on holiday off the coast of Donegal. It turns out that Mountbatten was all for the unity of Ireland, have a huge helping of irony why don't ya.

Dr Who with Colin Baker and his assistant Peri as played by Nicola Bryant. Ah those were the days. She was English but put on a fake Yank accent to play an 18 year old student. Large breasts that bounced with grace as she ran from the aliens she even appeared in a bikini and you could see the odd nipple poke through her clothing now and then, yes I am still very much in love with her.

For some reason there has been a lot of UFO sightings over Wales, many by Airline pilots, two or three a week in fact. I see a connection that Dr Who is now being made by BBC Wales other than that all I can tell you to do is, "watch the skies."

Well um happy new year I suppose and don't let yer posts get away from you like I do, I make genius look easy but it isn't.

It is actually very easy now go to my news blog or I'll glass ya.

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Benazir Bhutto Assassinated

Its sad when Idealists and good guys finish last.

Ok I'm annoyed, it was bound to happen even she herself knew it would probably happen and now it has. In Pakistan the former prime minister and opposition leader Benazir Bhutto was assassinated after a campaign rally. The 54 year-old was shot in the neck and chest and then the attacker blew himself up.
20 others were also killed in the attack. The rally was for the January 8th parliamentary elections.
In her own words in October she warned about "hidden hands" being responsible if anything happened to her.

After the attack her supporters attacked the police in several cities. President Pervez Musharraf the current western backed dictator who saw her as a real threat to his position blamed Islamic extremists and he would redouble his efforts to fight them. What is nothing doubled?

"This is the work of those terrorists with whom we are engaged in war," he said in a nationally televised speech. "I have been saying that the nation faces the greatest threats from these terrorists. ... We will not rest until we eliminate these terrorists and root them out."

Limp dick President or is it lame duck? Bush strongly condemned the attack "by murderous extremists who are trying to undermine Pakistan's democracy." As usual the US will only get involved and only up to a point when it suits them. You can see that Bush is shamed everytime he speaks about Musharraf, its in his body language and tone.

He knows he isn't fooling anyone, accuse away it won't make a difference, the rest of the US politicans are too worried about how their hair looks and what do the American people know or care about Pakistan anyway ?

Nawaz Sharif, another former prime minister and opposition leader, said his party would boycott the elections, wise move considering.

Since Bhutto returned to Pakistan from exile she has been a thorn in the side of Musharraf, he has put her under hoose arrest 'for her own safety' a few times.

She had already gained the whelming support from the people but what does the will of the people really count for? the government only listens to the people when there is a successful armed revolt so they make gun laws to prevent that from happening.

Musharraf you murdering, backstabbing, double dealing dog cock licker.

Then there was the whole side show about Musharraf taking off his uniform as a serving military general shouldn't be President, that was a load of bollocks, that's like Putin stepping doon, you know he'll still be calling the shots, no pun intended. It was all just distraction.

Musharraf complied and was seen to be reasonable. Bush never condemned Musharraf he just protested saying ,"I know its none of our business but I have to say in public that we think its wrong" because having a strong military man in charge in that region was better than a civilian woman.

Pakistan has for a long time supported the Taliban as they have historical ties together, you can't go having a woman in charge.

Recently Musharraf complained that he only had one working helicopter and so couldn't hunt Al Qaeda, which is very strange as the US has been given him billions of dollars since 2003 solely for that purpose. I wonder where the money went?
No wonder Al Qaeda are so well trained and equipped.

I am annoyed that a good brave leader was killed by the minions of Musharraf who plays both sides.

I am annoyed that Bush and the rest of the west know Musharraf is dirty but pay him in the hope he'll help them get somewhere Just like the UK and the Saudi arms deal . The name of this Blog is "Old Bitter Balls" the state of the world and the cowardly murdering scum that rule it and play the double standards game of pick and choose yer allies is one major reason why I am bitter.

If ya don't like it then go read "young fluffy balls."

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