I can't speak for everyone, well I could and it would make a lot more sense but anyway, have you ever experienced anything of paranormal fashion? no, I don't mean catching someone else's yawn, fuck you people have no imagination, I'm talking about when the phone rings and you know who it is on the other end, or you know to save something to draft just as Blogger messes up though I didn't get that feeling and my last post was sacrificed to Lord Blogspot , who said this service was free? it costs me my blood, sweat and seminal fluids .
I always knew Anne Bankcroft was going to die of cancer, when I was told she was dead I said "cancer"? all casual like, never a big fan but I just knew.
I do silly things like talk about something then the next day it turns up in my life, people, films that kind of thing, if I say big titty weemen then I find an e-mail from Fat Sparrow telling me how funny Kav is and how hot Hadon is, yeah yeah tell me something I don't know, shes such a groupie sometimes.
I can also predict that The sound of music will be shown at Christmas time the weekend after The great escape is shown, however I'm crap at getting the Lottery numbers, it never works when you think about it working, a little like Blogger.
There was a study done about something that Old Knudsen already knew . People that have had from birth, allergies, chronic pain, fatigue, depression, migraine, headaches, sensitivity to light, sound and smell are pretty much fucked and should be put down, also they are 3 times more likely to have an apparitional experience than those jammy bastards who are always healthy but whine anyway about being sick so they can fit in.
Men are more likely to have a visual experience while weemen get visual, sense a presence , hear, smell or see lights and energy, enough to make a physiatrist reach for his prescription pad.
Burn the Witches I say, woops sorry, old habits die hard, back in the day to avoid service in Oliver Cromwell's puritan stormtroopers 'The helmet heads' I became a Witch finder general, I'd go from town to town testing weemen for perkiness and witchiness (technical term) besides the arse slap and the pencil test I'd get a wet glass and set it down onto a table, a witch born of Satan's Barse cannot help herself but put a coaster under the glass and mutter some nasty incantations .
If you suspect that your wife is a witch try this test, known as the 'Dutch Oven' , in modern time men use it just to annoy their spouse but in days of yore that was a witch test. For those that live in a cave and need a Dutch Oven explained (Osama you need to get out more) its when a couple are lying in bed and the man farts and pulls the covers over his lady friend's head for her to enjoy, if the woman complains or tries to get out then shes a cruel vile witch and you're well fucked as she knows where you sleep, if she is pure of heart God will protect her so she may breath through the plate of ribs and 6 beers without a word, the man's fun will be gone and he won't try that again God 1 ---- mortal man nil.
Nowadays its not so cool to go around burning suspected witches, over the centuries the witch burning has become the family BBQ not as dramatic but smells better.
