No big surprise here Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe , have split up. After she got that Oscar for playing June Carter in 'Walk the line' the writing was on the wall, did you see Phillippe at the ceremony? he was one step away from being a belligerent drunk, now I might now and then drunkenly post stuff that I thought was funny but really isn't or e-mail scans of my willy to former readers of my blog, and I did say I was sorry, you missed a great lemur story,please come back, fuck I hate lemurs, don't get me started, I am worried that several of you that got the same scans still read this blog.
Well its one thing to embarrass yourself on the Interweb but to do it on TV at an Oscar ceremony which your wife is a cert to win, wise up man, I never liked Phillippe, he has that conceited smarmy way about him,and I'm usually good at picking the wrong uns, yes I'm keeping my eye on you lot.
Reese (you see I'm using her first name but not his) is a spunky wee thing and a little annoying though I don't dislike her too much, oh, they both have knobbly foreheads, I don't know what that means, maybe they keep butting heads alot.
I'm a traditional kind of man and think they should have changed the name phillippe and both used the one name, no not witherspoon, a proper name like bumblebottom, oh I don't know, keeping your own names seems like you're only half into the whole marriage thing, if you're any kind of a star you can call yourself 'meat and two veg' and still get the roles.
Phillippe doesn't strike me as someone who could be secure with his wife's success, I bet he shouts and sulks a lot, hes got his big film coming out soon but he isn't star material .
I just for the record want to say that I liked Johnny Cash when he was known as John Pocket Change, and ever since he died everyone has claimed him as their greatest musical influence, like they did with Ray Charles, like this one," yeah Johnny Cash was what made me want to be a musician, that song 'pretty woman' was the best power ballad of all time" ---------- Vince Neil, Motley Crue.
Ok, that very last bit wasn't true, its called lying no I mean poetic licence, its Halloween today or Samwise as the Pagans call it and I do intend on seeing a lot of spirits today so if you get a scan of a crusty old minger of a penis, that would be my very own pride and joy and today I'll be using it to scare some children with, I hope someone toilet papers my house tonight because I've run out of toilet paper,and theres no more space on my bath towels and clean socks, if the neighbours cat comes round hes next, that will teach him for spraying my wheelie bin, now theres a horror story for you to tell the kids.
As for the title, its a tongue twister.
