I worked for "The Company" for many years doing things no one should ever be paid to do, I was Liz Taylor's sex toy for 5 years and Saddam's PR man for 10 before he thought he could go it alone and look where his career ended up. Tom Cruise call me, I could make you a star.
I tried to atone for past sins by offering, free of charge , my services as a troubleshooter , a protector, and an investigator. People in need found me through a newspaper ad: "Got a problem? Odds against you? Call the Stormbringer."
I dispensed justice upon hoodlums, rapists, racists, murderers, kidnappers, drug dealers, IT specialists, meme taggers and other truly deserving people.
When I didn't have to use violence I used my classically trained voice, I have after all appeared in 'Aye Claudius' and 'Omelet' as the Danish prince of Baconia also in the 80's I made a living putting on an English accent or a German one as they are very similar playing the villain in numerous movies like 'Die Tard' and the 'Star hoors' trilogy .
When faced with a street punk with a gun I would project at them, "PUT THE GUN DOWN ........................... NOW...............................DON'T BE A FOOL BILLY!"
That would rattle them somewhat for them to see the error of their ways and they would collapse in tears ready to be hand cuffed.
I tried to atone for past sins by offering, free of charge , my services as a troubleshooter , a protector, and an investigator. People in need found me through a newspaper ad: "Got a problem? Odds against you? Call the Stormbringer."
I dispensed justice upon hoodlums, rapists, racists, murderers, kidnappers, drug dealers, IT specialists, meme taggers and other truly deserving people.
When I didn't have to use violence I used my classically trained voice, I have after all appeared in 'Aye Claudius' and 'Omelet' as the Danish prince of Baconia also in the 80's I made a living putting on an English accent or a German one as they are very similar playing the villain in numerous movies like 'Die Tard' and the 'Star hoors' trilogy .
When faced with a street punk with a gun I would project at them, "PUT THE GUN DOWN ........................... NOW...............................DON'T BE A FOOL BILLY!"
That would rattle them somewhat for them to see the error of their ways and they would collapse in tears ready to be hand cuffed.
Or they would shoot my client 50/50 which is why I get paid up front, did I say earlier I didn't charge? well a donation is asked for as I am a pastor in the Universal Life Church and we do need a new roof .
Then all of a sudden everyone was doing that line of work, some cunt had a talking car another had a helicopter, one had a motorbike named Street hawk, some computer geek used the Interweb to call a cyber hero named 'Automan' and don't talk to me about the fucking A-team, how is an old guy in a cap (that wasn't cool and black and didn't talk) going to compete with that?
I said fuck atoning for past sins no one knows it was me anyway and I got a truck and a chimpanzee named 'Wolf' and set off to have adventures.
Then all of a sudden everyone was doing that line of work, some cunt had a talking car another had a helicopter, one had a motorbike named Street hawk, some computer geek used the Interweb to call a cyber hero named 'Automan' and don't talk to me about the fucking A-team, how is an old guy in a cap (that wasn't cool and black and didn't talk) going to compete with that?
I said fuck atoning for past sins no one knows it was me anyway and I got a truck and a chimpanzee named 'Wolf' and set off to have adventures.
In 1989 I killed the head vampire and started an investigation agency called 'Daylighting' under the assumed name Gillette Steel but that's another tale of woe.
