Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Never Trust A Well Groomed Man
Its true, I've never got over the fact that Liberace was ghey. All those times in the piano shaped hot-tub tinkling the keys and not once did it occur to me. When I found out years later I begged him to go to the nearest Presbyterian church and be cured with scripture and mild beatings, "Wladziu " I said as we sat on his piano shaped love seat "It can be fixed and then you can like gurls and never ever mention what we did together when I thought we were being naked and macho like the Greeks." Its funny cos his penis was the shape of a trombone .......... so I heard as I don't play that instrument.
Another shock was Stephen Gately from Boyz own. Who will do the high notes now?
Sean Hayes from Will, Grace and Dharma came out of the closet and I thought, "no way, isn't he just Canadian of something ?" I hope he didn't win any awards for acting boy did he have us fooled. I bet Megan Mullally isn't even a fag hag.
Now the shock of all shocks Ricky Martin who had a hit song about 10 years ago just turned ghey, its like Ebola I tell you. Who will be next?
Don't even fucking well consider it.
Maybe if weemen looked better then there wouldn't be so many turning to their own.
I mean some of us really do have it going on and its not our fault we're sex on a stick.
Old Knudsen does have a bet with a famous bookmakers as to the year that Harry Potter will turn ghey. Its a lot of money so I may have to take matters into my own hands but mark my words the lad is ripe.
At least we know that Hugh Jackman the lover of many a show tune will always like the ladies I mean look at him not a ghey bone in his body, *Not at the time when this picture was taken at least*
Old Knudsen is handing in his badge and gun as one of the LAPD's top profilers. Ok I didn't get a badge and a gun (officially) and I was more of a pro-filer who did a bit of photocopying too.
I'll be sticking with the laddies er I mean ladies for now, not the best choice but at least you know what to expect there.................. total unpredictable mood swings and threats of violence.
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