Love Me With Lard

I was tagged a while back by Witchypoo for a meme about some quirky things about me. I write so much stuff (well over 1,000 posts) its hard to know what I haven't said so I mostly used pictures to spice this meme up and help you readers that have trouble with the word thingys . Not too quirky and you get what you pay for.

I'm a fire starter twisted fire starter. The fire of passion is a blessing and a curse to me.

If you look past my gruff exterior you'll see that I'm quite sensitive.

When I was young I was fearless, I later learned what fear is and am now no longer fearless but I am more brave than then because I face my fears.

I become bigger than life and perform for the crowd but don't believe the praise or applause.

And I think it's gonna be a long long time till touch down brings me round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm a rocket man.

I am a real man loyal to my friends and unforgiving to my enemies. What are you fucking looking at Diocese of Leeds?

I am not the same person I was when I was younger. That is a good thing as I was as deep as a bird bath and cared for no one.

I believe that life is a journey and I am looking for something. I don't know what it is but I know that others I meet and things that happen will help me find it as I shall help them.


I don't like to brag but thousands of weemen, 8 men, 2 donkeys, various inanimate objects, 12 chickens, 1 turkey and yer ma can't all be wrong.

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Why not have a fuzzy fucking kitten to go with my fuzzy fucking meme?

I hate memes but when a hot young woman tags me well what am I going to do? I see these memes as a thump on the arm that says in a school yard way, "I want to ride you" well ladies the feeling is mutual first it was that Goofy woman and now its that meme addict Xmichra well I wasn't going to bother me arse posting at all today but then I said "why not old boy shes just going to keep sending you naked pictures until you do so here it is.

Here are THE RULES:

Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog. Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself. Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a notification on their blog.

Here are mostly superstitions I have. I get freaked out if others do the bad luck things around me.

1) Its bad luck to put shoes on a table.

2) If I light a candle I use my finger and thumb to pinch it out as I believe that using another element such as air to blow it out is bad luck.

3) I always put coins in the pockets of my jacket and make sure I always have in my wallet for good luck, it may only be pennies but money attracts money.

4) An itchy palm means I'm going to get money, I rub my palm on my bum to make sure it comes.

5) When I'm cooking I never stir a pot with a knife as thats bad luck and rhymes with strife.

6) Putting an umbrella up inside the hoose is bad luck.

7) I see the number 13 as a lucky number.

I choose these magnificent 7 bloggers, if they don't want to do it then fine I won't mind one bit , as long as they know I'm a powerful Warlock with an unstable personality.


Bittersweet me An enigma wrapped in a horny package.


Marky annoys me more than my ex wives do.


MJ probably has more weird facts than you could shake a stick at.

Ellie I'm just giving her a thump on the arm.


Mago this cunt just fascinates me.


Eddie Waring He is bound to be entertaining....... no pressure.


Witchypoo My favourite psycho er I mean psychic .



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The Memes Must End.

I've been tagged, spammed, left for dead in a ditch and have totally forgotten the safe place where I hid that extra money I had. My reflecting pool and Niolk have both tagged me with their chain lettery cycle of abuse thingy that's going around here like the clap around Royal Navy frigate. I'd tell them both to fuck off but I feel I'm on the verge of getting naked pictures from them.
Ok here we go.


1) The first and last time I stood on a skateboard to see how easy it was I fell off and broke my nose, it now bleeds easily when punched.

2) Once in a Supermarket I was at the cashier , I was lifting something heavy into the cart and the plastic handles snapped, my hand flew up and punched myself in the nose which then started to bleed, I had one little bogey filled hanky but the blood kept dripping, the cashier looked at me disgusted while trying to ignore me.

3) I have a man crush on Gerard Butler at the minute, maybe its the muscles or maybe the manly Scottish accent, yes I know going by his name hes a Fenian but love has no limits.

4) I believe I am being followed by an invisible Greek chorus and so will talk to myself and entertain them, they may be travelers from the future or maybe I'm just mad.

5) At a works party I was awarded an inflatable doll for being the employee most likely to chat a fellow employee up, the doll went off with someone else.................hoor.

6) At one time I was a vision technician (window cleaner) my nick-name was "Buckets" due to me having buckets, incredible huh?

7) Before I became old and cantankerous I had the ability to turn invisible, mostly at pubs when I was trying to get served and the barman only saw hot chicks with low cut tops, I now wear low cut tops.

8) When I see one of those guillotines you use for cutting paper and card my first impulse is to put my hand in and slice it off.


For Ms Pool my blogging tip would be " Don't give too much of a fuck its only Blogging."*************

Sorry Ms Pool but me and directions don't mix it was in my 101 facts.

I challenge you all to do 101 random facts about yerself, go on lets see what yer made off. Take the Knudsen challenge as the ultimate meme so complete strangers can stalk yer blogs and know stuff even yer husband doesn't know cos hes off banging the dog and isn't interested in yer Blog. Sound tempting? weak Bloggers can do memes but only the strong can do 101.

The Anti meme

"I don't know what to post, I know I'll do yet another meme."

1) What do you hate about the world? fuckers that do memes all the time.

2) What do you like about yourself? that I don't do memes all the time.

3) Why do you think that anyone is really interested in you? because I'm so interesting.

4) Do you think they really care about your favourite mood? everybody hangs on my every word.

5) Has your head ever totally disappeared up your own hole yet? tastes like chicken.

6) Have you ever tasted sperm that's over 3 days old? I choose not to answer this.

7) What makes your shopping lists so interesting? repetition, more memes = more fun.

8) Why are you still answering? caught up in the moment.

9) Why haven't you deleted your blog yet? I really should shouldn't I?

10) What are you going to use pills or a razor blade? 12 gauge in the mouth.

11) Things I regret: doing this meme.

12) Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Shatner.

14) Things That Scare Me: Thinking that no one wants to read my memes.

15) Things I don't understand: life which is why I'll never truly be evolved and break this chain of reincarnation.

16) Things I regret: Wasting the time of others with memes.

17) do you ever see or hear things that aren't really there? How can I if they aren't really there?

18) Who is the most interesting person you know? Me , hence the meme.

19) If you could clone one person for an orgy who would you clone? Me duh!

20) What is your favorite curse word? meme.

Why do I post this? because you are all boring and self involved cunts that think someone else really cares about what you have for breakfast, really they only want to shag you or laugh at you so wise up you boring shites and quit it with the memes. Feel free to do this meme if you love the smell of yer own farts that much.

No More Memes You Cunts!

Several of my Blogging *chums* did this meme one Monday and I forgave them and moved on, then it appeared every Monday and now my chest hurts, no more , there is an expression ' for every meme a budgie loses its wings' think about that.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.
People with their heads up their holes.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
That Old knudsen cunt, hes really a woman ya know and as for being Irish?away and fuck.
2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Liberals helping the Africans and spouting off about war....... trendy activists.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
The state of humanity in general .

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
Me for being so angry/witty/modest and good looking every fucking day.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
My word is my bond.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
An end to all the bloody Monday memes and a rest from them in general.



*I want to chop them up and feed them to the sharks*