Next Time Yer On Yer Own

Yesterday was the 65th anniversary of D-day. Old Knudsen won't bore you with war stories like how when he landed at sword they wouldn't even let the men brew up on the sand, oh no they said go kill the Germans and then you can have a cup of Rosy Lee. Yes a horror story worse than any holocaust. Some people have said we were allowed a few sips and it wasn't as bad as we and thousands of other witnesses say but I was there and no tae passed these lips until I had killed *248 Germans*, I didn't take any prisoners cos I was fucking grouchy, blame the officers for not giving us a tea break.

The thing about killing Germans is once you pop you can't stop.

*Plus 67 members of other nations that got in his way*


French president Sarkozy is such a silly wee yank licking self promoter. He invited Obama to the 65th D-day anniversary but not any of the other leaders who lost thousands fighting the hun.

He wanted a special French/American day. I suppose it would make sense as the French made it possible for America to be free from the British and then America made it possible to be free from the Germans. Well they should have made it a day in which no one else was involved. We British were kinda in the war when it started in 39 and never surrendered unlike the French.

In fact Old Knudsen hadn't actually ended fighting the 1914-1918 war.

Don't you dare leave out the soldiers of Canada, Australia, Belgium, Czechoslovakia, France, Greece, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway and Poland.


" We surrender, no just practising in case North Korea invades."

The British press went to war on the subject saying it was a royal snub but the French shrugged like they do and said there would be other D-days and that they wanted to give Obama a private hand job.

Invites went out to the various nations and Gordon Brown (texture like sun) and prince Chuck turned up for the free D-day tea and scones.

Many veterans wore badges with the Queen's face on them to represent.

Old Knudsen didn't fight the Japs at Normandy, Dunkirk and Tescos just to have his beautiful Queen snubbed by the frogs, nor did he fight the battle of the Bulge on America's biggest loser just to be omitted from a solemn occasion such as this, he also didn't snipe at Hitler's head from a grassy knoll in 1963 for that was JFK.

Sure Churchill may have bombed the French navy when they were being stupid cunts but really when have the French not been stupid cunts?

Never trust a nation that fights with its feet and fucks with its mouth.

Old Knudsen Takes A Bow

I'm at that point in my blogging career where I stop and think: " How come corn the ultimate recyclable food cums out in my shite but never a nice tasty pickled onion?" I'm sure you have all had the same thought in yer life.

This post is all about me being introspective. Have I lived a good life? does the things I did in that inflatable boat full of mud with the singers 'Pink' and that 'Kerry she kissed a gurl lass' count as good or bad? how will that cunt St Peter founder of the Fenian church see it?

I swore an oath to her majesty the Queen her heirs and successors to defend the crown and I've been doing it for the Queen for years.

I've also done the Queen .................. Andrew (named after a Scottish golf course) I have something to tell you.

I have found the secret of everlasting life, the secret is to not want to live forever and God who is a contrary cunt makes you immortal, or is it immoral? I get confused which led me to cut the green wire, you never cut the green wire its a double bluff you cut the red wire unless yer colour blind and then you cut the puce wire, is that actually a colour? it sounds like something that weeps out of a boil.



I made enemies with the Diocese of Leeds when I posted a story on my news blog. I may have exaggerated and used real names but its fucking satire not satyr so a legal letter to Google was disproportionate, unlike the invasion of the Gaza Strip which was justified. Should have turned it into a car park.

I have posted many beautiful weemen but mostly just half naked ones.

Things have sometimes gotten a little hairy.

But I over came or came over all.

Including a jealously driven spam campaign, I'm telling ya, that gorilla was fucking bananas, smug fucking cowardly denying passive aggressive cunt.

I have posted some great posts, nay works of art. Read and re-read and maybe you'll learn how to blog.


Last week I killed Osama Bin laden. Like many an evil villain he came back to life when my back was turned rising up menacing behind me extremely slowly and then legged it out the door, fucking bastard I didn't even get my just rewards for catching him. Its a young man's game.


I tried to warn you all about the secret lemur world domination plan only to have several people go "huh?" well those people will die horribly because the ones in the movies that never believe the hero until its too late always die.

I have rememberised about my service in Her Majesty's armed farces. Above is me in Belfast in the early 90's about to cull some Taigs, not as widely known as the 'Battle of the revolting Fenians' otherwise known as Bloody Sunday (we won) this day was known as 'flesh wound lunch hour' well I tried but they replaced our powerful SLR's with these crappy plastic SA80's now we are just as effective as Americans. The enemy have better weapons for fucks sake.

I went on to Camp eagle in Kuwait seizing the oil rigs in Iraq before they could be blown up, no I don't expect yer thanks ............. money is enough.

Officially I'm a Colonel though I've been busted many times but thats personal, don't ask don't tell. I don't like to brag but I am the greatest thing since sliced bread and that was pretty fucking great.

Since moving to Southern Callyfornia I have joined the NRA, The 30 second men and the senior branch of Homeland security. I mostly look through me window blinds and look for terrorists. I have now come to recognise the difference between some brown people and don't call the hot-line (its a recording) every time I see a Mexican. I still call when I see a black person as they are bound to be up to no good.


Remember when I went to Texas and nearly got killed by zombies? then I met a woman on the line in Florida who was a total crackheaded slut (94% of the state) and we met up only for me to find out she was part zombie on her father's side and she changed me when she roughly used her teeth on me willy. Yank weemen really need to get used to normal, intact men with foreskins. They be great sex virgins until they experience a real man the way God intended ................ call me.

Yeah that was during my angry posting phase, I was changed, insulting everyone and calling people cunts, Fenian cocksuckers, Sceptic tanks, wankers, sluts and lunch-box lickers oh boy did I have issues.
I got some cream and the burning and itching went away. Though strangely enough you were still cunts, Fenian cocksuckers, Sceptic tanks, wankers, sluts and lunch-box lickers.



Ach I've stretched this out too much.


Its doesn't matter what people call you, don't let it bother you, just make sure they end up dead and buried in the desert and everyone who ever knew them also dead.......... thats in the Bible you know, some where at the back.

I've been blogging since August 2006, almost everyday. In fact I had to stop myself posting everyday as it seemed as if I had to .................. for the kids.


I went on holiday with Manuel and LMM, what a lovely couple, I'll never forget the orgies. YouTube took them doon the bastards.

Anonymous Boxer showed me her Chihuahua.


Donn Coppens showed me his massive army of the north.

MJ showed me enough for me to pour bleach into my eyes.
Mago showed me it was ok to feel.


First Nations made me feel like one of her family.


Many bloggers came and went, a few stayed and passed me around their friends like some kind of drunken homeless person. They are all in my links or followers (the fools)

Ah my readers of the night, what crap comments they make.


I went into business with Haliburton supplying expensive rations to the troops.


I also sold weapons to our allies and anyone with money or gold. Of course I did background checks, Blackwater trained me well.



Ben told me I had to return to the island . I told him to get lost ...................... on DVD.

I've had a swinging time but after a while dancing on the table loses its appeal.

I have often wondered who I am and woke up to find I was

This man. Then I realised no I was just trapped inside his body, "DAMN MY BLACKOUTS!"



Here I am, the fallen angel Old Knudsen, ready to save the day and fly off with the damsel in the see through dress.
Soaring high up in the sky as floating rocks and clouds go by.

Brazil, where hearts were entertaining june
We stood beneath an amber moon
And softly murmured "someday soon"
We kissed and clung together.

Then, tomorrow was another day
The morning found me miles away
With still a million things to say
Now, when twilight dims the sky above
Recalling thrills of our love
There’s one thing that I’m certain of
Return  I will  to old  Brazil
That old brazil
Man, it’s old  in Brazil
Brazil, Brazil

Will I return? who knows what I will say is, "Now you've read this fuck off."


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I Put The Con Into Icon

Thanks Tony for pointing the way for me to jump on the BO bandwagon. I will be very surprised if I don't see this on t-shirts soon.


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Old Knudsen Still Refuses To Give A Fuck

Every day that my blog continues to be up amazes me. All the complaints I've had over various little things and the people who have taken offense about me, not the Jews this time but the Catholics when I slag off pedo priests and the Pope. Whats yer problem can't handle the truth? Yeah many people can't.

"Wah wah wah why does my life suck so much?" well yer a fat lazy cunt who won't address yer issues also you live in denial and self pity.............. see? not many people like the truth.

Those people project their problems and find someone else or something else to focus on. Fucking Immigrants, fucking fundies, fucking ragheads. You see if I complain about something I do it out of boredom because 'I don't give a fuck about you cos yer a dickhead too, see yer mate in the corner there hes a dickhead like you'. Sorry its a song but still I only really hate criminals like rapists, murderers, pedos also Lemurs and idiots.

If yer a raping murdering Lemur pedo thats as thick as pig shit but also happen to be Arabic and Catholic then I'll call you a Fenian raghead lemur mong cunt cos I call a spade a spade I've got nothing against everyone else though I do hate you all, doesn't mean I won't share a cup of blood or shag you just don't ask to borrow $5.00.

I blog what I like and if people read then fine but if you take offense just don't read, many do or rather don't.

I just wanted to remind everyone that I really don't give a fuck and if I get shut doon via the old vague 'terms and conditions' clause that no one follows but really just means some uptight prig complained I'll just pop up somewhere else so what have those people achieved I mean its not like I'm paranoid and copy all my posts HA HA! you know I do.

After my painful four hour erection I will just rise up again just like Jesus.

My compliments have outnumbered the complaints but it just takes one twat who doesn't get it.


Now time for a game. Find the Nazi ghey bashing Pope.

Step right up and keep yer eye on the Pope is he under this hat or this hat? Keep watching my hand is quicker than yer mind.

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I Speak So Listen

Yer twice elected President Bush is suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Shoe Disorder) and also he is having trouble with Turkey in fact by the way he was talking about crushing Turkey and feeding off its dead carcass I think you might be going to war again. I have been asked to give a State of the Union address speech so you all know how the cuntry is running.


"Look at me ya lil fucker as I squeeze the life out of you, pardon a turkey my ass."

The economy is getting better, if we throw money at it we might get lucky somewhere. Interest rates are so low they aren't very interesting. Remember petrol (gas) its under $2.00 so where is the yay? however a gallon of milk costs $5.00 . I blame milk production and the general laziness of cows and the farmers.

We have a sound plan for the economy so don't worry.



We are winning the wars of terror no matter what else you hear. Numerous military and civilian causalities are all a part of our master plan so just stay the course and don't worry about the national guard being away. If there was an emergency here Old Knudsen will sort it out if in a sober condition.



States like Florida and Texas are still full of stupid cunts, there is nothing we can do about them short of nuking them all which I am all for.

We have solved the problem of the Appellation mountains being too pointy by blowing the tops off them and by a happy coincidence we found coal.

Washington DC is still a hot bed of scum and corruption thats not including the politicians.

The east coast will still be on the east and the fly over states will be renamed the 'Whatever' states cos who really cares?


We will demonstrate that we are not a socialist cuntry by constantly sticking it to the old, poor and disabled. The Constitution with be merged with the Bible and will be known as the Holy Constitutible.

Education is very important to us so we will continue to inflate grades to make the kids feel good and cut back on school funding but hey they'll think they are winners until they are out into the work force and by then it is not our problem.

Health care will be available to everyone who can afford it so we will tackle obesity, sex addiction and other important diseases and no one will ever be poorly again.

Alaska who receives vast amounts of Federal funding that never reaches the poor even though it has a small population will have its funding cut cos that bitch ruined our election or at least that is what we are blaming it on.


Callyfornia is a cesspit of liberal wusses but the same sexers are out thanks to the emboldened negros who have proved to be good for something ......... lazy slaves. The state will continue to provide for lesser states even though it could be its own independent cuntry and thanks to the poor economy which is strong the beaners have skipped south which means all the jobs Americans don't want to do are now available for them to do and I don't think they will be so snobby about it now.

Our southern state of Mexico will still supply drugs to all of our cities.

Our Chinese overlords are happy with our looking the other way to their African and south American ambitions so we are all kinds of good.

The water and air may be polluted, the roads may be falling apart but our dependence on foreign oil will be at an end when we drill in our nature reserves for the oil we have been holding out on for decades.

Be not afraid fellow humans the union is still united unless you count State and Federal laws and the extreme left and right wingers. Remember its commies , socialists non Christians that kill people, guns and cars are our friends.


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