Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The 6 Spots Of Death

You know what I saw in Mongolia? yaks and mongs. No Xanadu, Kubla Khan or even Chakka Khan, Chakka Khan.

I saw a story on the web that was titled '6 spots to see before you die' this panicked me greatly as I had developed several large weeping spots on my penal system.
I pulled doon me gunties and counted, thank fuck there were only 5.
I call that irresponsible writing, scaring an Old man who is in God's waiting room.
I don't get telemarketers making constant phone calls but instead the Grim Reaper " Old Knudsen this is death, I have some important business information for you, please call me back at ************."

Yeah right I will, the Nazis haven't got me, Dog the fucking bounty bar hunter hasn't got me all those weemen with their paternity suits haven't got me and nor will death.

It was a travel site with 6 destinations to go to, well I counted and my maths not being too good since book learnin gave me heart burn I only counted 5, I added the last one to insult you.

Mount Kilimanjaro
Alaska
Mongolia
Antarctica
Atlantic Ocean
Yer Ma's G-spot

I've been to all 6 of these, yep 'all' 6 and they were crap and I'm still alive so fuck yous, ok the last one did give me the clap and spawned you but hey I'm still standing except right now I'm sitting.
At the end of the world it will be me and Keith Richards feeding off cockroaches and maybe if I'm desperate enough I'll make him feed off my cock for that terrible film appearance in that terrible pirate movie he was in.