Feel Free To Go Fuck Yerself

Old Knudsen feels the need to weigh in on the complete balls up British Prime Minister Gordon Brown texture like sun made after he spoke to a 66 year-old former lollipop lady on one of his walkabouts in the dirty sin ridden area of northern England known as Rochdale.

Gillian Duffy a widow at first heckled Brown before she got to talk to him. She talked to him in the similar way Old Knudsen has heard Americans speak, Old Knudsen being white and British the people here forget that he is an immigrant and so speak freely. She said: "In Falinge, we have all kinds of immigrants living there and at one of the schools, there are 18 languages spoken. There are a lot of Polish people as they have shops opened for them. We are not saying it is a bad thing, but we don't want people coming to live here and claiming benefits."

Yeah um I'm not saying Poles are bad but not in our backyard , we still have all those blacks that came over in the 50's.

Old Knudsen does think that if you move to another cuntry in which the majority speak a language then learn to speak it but in schools with differently aged children that may not be so easy. We are all immigrants or children of immigrants so fuck up and get over it the world is getting smaller.
I get told over here about Mexicans getting all the welfare benefits, I guess they must get special treatment cos Old Knudsen doesn't qualify for anything, in fact the born and bred Americans are lucky to get anything................ its not a socialist state you know, no council houses here and the government doesn't give a fuck.

After the talk with Mrs Duffy Brown got into his car but forgot he still had his mike attached.

Some of his conversation with an aide was caught on tape "That was a disaster – they should never have put me with that woman, she was just a bigoted woman."

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Well she is 66 so how the fuck does the 18 languages in school effect her? Just collect yer government pension and wait to die like the rest of us.

The shock is that Gordon Brown texture like sun didn't like her and possibly the way she referred to the million Eastern Europeans flocking to the UK and no doubt he didn't want a straight forward conversation in public with an angry woman.

He has since been apologising to anyone who will listen especially Mrs Duffy.

The UK doesn't have free speech so any conversation or point of view is subject to scrutiny unlike the USA when then Vice President Dick Cheney told a Senator to "Go fuck himself" when questioned about all the shady business Cheney put towards Haliburton.

If only we had free speech in the UK then it wouldn't be such a big deal, "Oye Mr Brown, wot about all thems nig nogs, fuzzies, muzzies and slavs that live in Britain, can we not build a fence to keep them out or at least lock them up on the Isle of Man and bomb it along with the poofters?"

"Thank you for your question now GO FUCK YOURSELF!"


If this is the silly thing that lets the Conservatives win the election Old Knudsen will personally punch Mrs Duffy on the back of the head. I can say that as right now I'm in free America, unless you are an Obama aide who tells a Jewish joke of course then it isn't so free.




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When Its Over

Great Britain: "Hello America? yeah its me, yes I did have a great time .. Oh the kind gift of a 25 DVD box set of classic American films such as Star Wars, The Godfather and who doesn't like the wizard of Oz? well even though they won't work in the UK it does put my gifts of the ornamental pen holder made from the timbers of the Victorian anti-slave ship HMS Gannet whose sister ship HMS Resolute, was carved to make a desk that has sat in the Oval Office in the White House since 1880.
The other gifts of the framed painting of HMS Resolute the first edition of the seven-volume biography of Churchill by Sir Martin Gilbert and the clothes and books we gave to your children to shame.
We should have put more thought into your gifts.

Anyway Churchill was the first to say we had a 'special relationship' way back in 1946 but I think its time we saw other countries............

America: Just what are you trying to say bitch ? Remember no one walks away from the US of A.

Great Britain: Our Commons Foreign Affairs committee thinks we should have a time out and not use the special relationship term anymore as it reminds people of the support Britain gave to President George W Bush over the Iraq war.......... they called us America's poodle.

America: Well that isn't my fucking problem if you walk out that door you won't see half the tourists you get now and if Germany tries to invade well don't come crying to me .

Great Britain: don't be like that we'd still like to be friends as our link is "profound and valuable" and we've been asking for years for you to stop sending your tourists over and to be honest Germany is in far better financial shape than America.

America: You'd be speaking German if it wasn't for us you ungrateful fucker.

Great Britain: You Yanks do swear a lot. It would be handy to be able to speak German a very difficult language to learn.
The thing is you've lied to us and have dragged us through the mud, you whine about all the fighting in the war but when we take the areas with the most heavy fighting and settle it down you spit on us when we are ready to go and you are still struggling in the easier places, not to mention how you keep killing our blokes by accident then you bring us flowers and promise it will never happen again and then two weeks later it does................ we've had enough, you're a thoughtless bully who doesn't really care about us.

America: I'm so fine baby you know you'll be back.

Great Britain: Your poor interest rate is not very interesting my therapist has told me we have to learn to say 'no' and treat you like everyone else as its not like you'll listen to us. You only entered the two World Wars when it suited you .

America: Don't let the door hit you on the way out, France is begging to be our next junior and very dispensable partner.

Great Britain: Go fornicate with France then and good day .

America: No I'm dumping you.

Great Britain: I said good day sir !




Great Britain: Hello Northern Ireland, yes how are you doing? did you get the many pay offs to encourage the politicians to talk to each other? No it was our pleasure................. how long have we known each other for?

In The UK The One-Eyed Man Is King

Blind in one eye and dead from the neck up Gordon Brown texture like sun is a pen pusher extraordinaire.

Tony Blair is under the spotlight for blindly following the brave and most honourable George W Bush into battle in Iraq for weapons of mass destruction, that is weapons that can kill a lot of people and cause a great deal damage to buildings like chipped paint work and cracked stucco.

The term was first used in 1937 by the then Archbishop of Canterbury about one of the first ariel bombing by the Nazis of the Spanish town of Guernica in which anywhere from 300 - 1000 people died. The numbers were given by the Nazis and the Diego's so are probably both false.

Then during the cold war the term meant NBC weapons and I don't mean the dazzling wit of Jay Leno's writers I mean nuclear, biological or chemical weapons.
Now I suppose it means nukes or long range missiles as its just a news-speak scare term now. I believe the Americans knew exactly what the Iraqis had since they supplied and trained them playing the whole Iran/Iraq game and besides if there was a threat the Israelis would know and send in a hit team or fighter jet only to be lightly slapped on the back of the hand for doing so.

It was Bush jnr making up for the 1991 fuck up of Bush snr and using the UN and WMD as excuses I mean it was so transparent and G W took advantage of the vulnerable and weak willed after the 9/11 attack. Now of course you have everyone saying they may have voted for it but never backed the war.

Now we have all that clear lets get back to one of the most influential nations of all time the British. The now Prime Minister Gordon Brown texture like sun is to give testimony in the Tony Blair witch trial.
Testimony comes from the ancient Roman habit of the holding of the testicles when declaring a true statement or holding onto another person's nuts when they gave an oath, we know Blair was sucking on Bush's testicles for years and maybe stroking the shaft and swallowing the gravy but that is for another photoshop day.

Gordon Brown texture like sun is using the old Saddam wasn't following UN law excuse which is very lowland Scottish and slimy .............. well done Mr Brown.

He should not get away *scot free* because in Old Knudsen's book he has many things to answer for.
Before inheriting the PM job Gordon Brown texture like sun was the Chancellor in charge of spending. Knowing Blair was going to go to war Brown was still cutting military spending, troops were going into battle with inadequate equipment much like what Donald Rumsfeld was doing with the Yanks and if you remember correctly Old Knudsen did a post demanding to get rid of Rumsfeld and shortly after he resigned the proof is here

There were a few armoured vehicles which broke down and didn't have any parts to fix them with so the military used their 'Snatch Land Rovers' did they get their name because you'd have to be a stupid cunt to go into battle in one?

Old Knudsen knows that back in the day we never whined about armour but now war is a lot more dangerous and less fun ............. ok its still fun but with every civvie cunt having a Blueberry and twatting all over the place dead service people don't go doon too well.

These Land Rovers are what the police and army have used in Northern Ireland for decades to deal with petrol bombs and half bricks but not much use against road side bombs, RPG's and rifles that fire 7.62x39 rounds.

Brown was willing to use these cheap and already available mobile coffins because like Rumsfeld he wasn't going to be in them.
People wonder why Old Knudsen is so jaded and full of hate well politicians of any flavour tend to have that effect on him, its like "Which one of these (two) candidates will be the lesser cunt?" Then the people in the lower jobs follow their example.

To quote an epitaph from a WWI grave stone by a grieving father, "To the world he was a soldier, to me he was the world."



*Scot is from an Old Norse word that meant a payment and is linked to the modern French écot, a share of communal expenses. Those who got off with paying their scot got the term scot free.*

I Bought Some Memory For My Laptop

My name is Gordon Brown texture like sun which is ironic as light is my destroyer, see my pale Scottish skin as it burns. I am the Prime Minister for The United kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and it has been 3 days and 18 hours since I paid for something personal using the taxpayers money.

I bought a Hannah Montana Rockin White Electric Guitar, an egg and onion sandwich and a Mars bar. I apologise to the British people but how can it feel so good and be so bad?

We Need A Hero

It has been said that Gordon Brown (texture like sun) has gone from being Stalin to becoming Mr Bean. I now suggest he becomes an action hero.

I give you "Buck Brown" or "Gordon Rogers" either way it sounds dirty, to me anyway. What were you expecting Flash Gordon ? way too obvious .

The Name Is Brown, Gordon Brown (Texture like sun)

A BBC reporter went a round Washington DC with a picture of Gordon Brown and asked Americans if they knew who he was, the closest was a woman who said "Golden Blair."

Its all been happening in the UK, The Queen opened Parliament (it seems she is the only one with a set of keys) and gave a nice speech about what "her" government will and will not stand for.

Remembrance Sunday of course and then there was The Lord Mayor's dinner.

The reason that drew attention was because over the past few years Gordon Brown a wise Scot who is frugal with his purse strings only wore an ordinary suit to it which outraged the old toffs who wear dickey bows and tails.

Now as Prime Minister he has been forced to spend £3000 of tax payers money on a suit with a white tie and tails in order to be a guest of the Queen and to hob-nob with our special friends the Saudis who themselves wear bed sheets.

Not just following the dress code but Brown also mentioned the US who have been giving attention to the French and the Germans so hes following the diplomatic code too. The UK and the US swap intelligence info and we buy US missiles for our subs, we can't be seen as getting too distant. In his speech unflash Gordon said:

"It is no secret that I am a lifelong admirer of America. I have no truck with anti-Americanism in Britain or elsewhere in Europe and I believe that our ties with America - founded on values we share - constitute our most important bilateral relationship."

Blair would totally rim the US but this is about as much gushing affection as you can expect from Brown. Its obvious that in the future there will be wars with Iran and China and whatever mates they bring along, do you think France or Germany will have yer back? what has their sucess rate been like in the last 100 years? losing, surrendering and blowing up Greenpeace.

Not Everyone Likes A Yank

Now that Blair has gone and the non-poodle like Gordon Brown is in power Bush isn't feeling the love anymore. What does he do? he flirts with the new French President and American wannabe Nicolas Sarkozy . C'mon George yer really scrapping the barrel.

The Cabinet Is Burning

Blair: And then he'd corner me and thump me on the shoulder, saying that I was asking for it.


Bush: Don't put up with that shit Tony, reshuffle.


Blair: No G Dawg I honestly believe he'll change, hes promised me it'll be like it was before.

A new book by political writer Anthony Seldon claimed that Tony Blair felt like an "abused and bullied wife" as speculation grew over his resignation.

Not only did tempers flare between Blair and Brown but one of Gordon Brown's allies Ed Balls was increasingly rude to Blair and *exacerbated* feelings in both camps by blaming Brown for not having the "balls" to lead a revolt against Blair.

Mr Balls has denied all of this as nonsense, and said that Blair was just a little bitch, "Ex Prime Ministers are like gardens" he said "They need a good dig every now and again."

Tony Blair was in therapy at a safe location and was unavailable for comment and Gordon Brown (texture like sun) didn't want to deal with it .


*Old Knudsen increased his wordpower by watching "Shawn of the dead."*

Flash Gordon Will Save Us.

The future Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain (sometimes including Northern Ireland and at the moment Scotland) on the left talking to 110 year-old war veteran Bill Jenkins .

"Intelligence should be kept separate from politics. " Well Mr Brown you are spot on, the Americans cannot be accused of using intelligence as Bush is on his second term and everyone knows *America is #1 fuck yeah.*




* this would be sarcasm incase you Yanks didn't know.*