Old Knudsen was in the bar watching the Ultimate Fighter the other night, well actually it was Billy one ear who caught up with a couple of peace activists, those shite-hawks, they said the war on terror was illegal and Britain should be ashamed for being puppets for America, my hackle was up, it's not called 'Great' Britain for nothing and I fought the Mexicans at the Alamo so those fuckers could spike their hair and wear fishtails with peace signs painted on them, Jimmy should refuse to serve twats like that, these wankers weren't taking my hint that I was broke and needed another pint, how many times do you have to tap your glass on the counter and sigh? so I made the point that then they must be 'for' terror if they were against the war and if that was the case, meet my friend Billy, those wee fuckers can sure run but don't underestimate Billy when hes chasing his beer money down the street, it did indeed end in tears and several more rounds.Speaking of ending in tears, the grandson of Benny Mussolini wants the fascist dictator's body exhumed to find out how he died, exhumed? is that not what Clinton failed to do with the pot?, how can a man run a country when he can't even smoke pot correctly? away and toss into a sink bendy dick, where was I ? oh yeah I was digging up Mussolini, well it wouldn't be the first time, famous skulls go for big bucks if you know who to talk to. I'm no doctor of medicine, if Mr Eater was here he may back me up on this, but being shot and then hung from the neck in front of an angry mob that wants you even more dead may be an attributing factor in the death of Benito Mussolini, this grandson, 'Guido', no shit a wop called Guido, you don't know how happy this makes Old Knudsen, is 69 and should move on, a stiffy in the trouser is worth two in the ground, times a wasting, Mussolini's grandaughter Alessandra does not want the body dug up, now Old Knudsen knows these Italians, I've seen many of them run like rabbits from me and Monty in North Africa as we charged them on our white steeds sabers drawn to the sound of Gary Owen, I wouldn't be surprised that Alessandra and heh heh Guido, aren't having a lovers spat out there in public, fucking toilet drinkers, and to all those people who say, "well he did make the trains run on time", fuck off you knob ends.
If I could get anyone alive in the prime of their lives for cage fights but with the same initials who would I get?
George Formby vs George Foreman
Bruce Springsteen vs Britany Spears
Arnold Schwarzenegger vs Alistair Sims
Boy George vs Bob Geldof
Michael Jackson vs Michael Jordan (armed with a club with nails in it)
Dr Miriam Stoppard vs Old Knudsen(armed with Viagara and KY warming sensations gel)
My game my rules, heh heh. I really want to see that George Formby take a beating, I hate that Yuka, Ukule, that banjo playing screaming little pansy, stay tuned all you click next Bloggers and Old Knudsen will rattle his attic for more matches.
Rest in peace Stevo you crazy Aussie, no more rubbing mustard on animal's bungholes for ratings.
