Old knudsen's memory was jarred into action by something he just read, Neville Chamberlain
was the worst Prime Minister of the 20th century.
Ok I thought that was a bit harsh on Nev , he may have ignored anything that went on during the Spanish civil war,he may have sold out Czechoslovakia to the Nazis thus giving them a foothold to take over the rest of Europe and he may have waved that piece of paper about claiming peace in our time, yeah ok, he was a twat when it came to anything with balls.
Old Knudsen blames himself a little, you see I met these 2 yanks in Birmingham, they were having a great time, back then all business was booming, those 2 guys had the ability to get whatever they wanted by just talking, I was desperate to learn their secret, after I plied them with drinks for a few hours they told me, it was called 'lying' , back then it was quite new to Britain but it was all the rage back in the States, they taught me and a whole different world opened up
. As I've said Nev was a big of a twat, I called him Nev the Rev because he would rant and preach when he was angry, when he drinks he gets angry, it seems that in Public school buggering is on the curriculum, Nev was going on about how it was sinful that he enjoyed it yadda yadda yadda, heard it all before, then I just came out and said it, "Nev wheres the 10 shillings you owe me?", his family had money, they made Birmingham the city it is today, (bastards) Nev frowned and said,"oh sorry chap I must of forgot", he soon paid up and that was just the start, I could convince anybody of anything, as long as they weren't too well traveled, people that never travel are thick as pigshit, now you can travel on the Interweb or just watch T.V. lying is not so easy these days though you'd be surprised,Weapons of mass destruction, watch the master (bater) in action.
Well Neville who was very cultured, he could bore you on any subject became an accountant
I could tell he wasn't very happy and was starting to question my lies more so once during a night of drunken manly shirtless wrestling, it is too manly, I dare you to call 'Big Daddy' a poof and he wore tights and a leotard, well I kept pinning him down but he took it in good spirits, I said to distract him because I was going to hit him up for more money later that as he was such a good orator he should take up politics, he was unsure, he had done a bit of debating in his youth (dirty fucker) but by the end of that night I had the bugger giving me a few bob and running for council , in no time he was Lord Mayor of Birmingham.
After a hunting accident in Sarajevo that sparked off a little inccident I kept me head down for a while and Nev kept at the politicing,out of the blue one day he gave me a ring and said he had this important meeting in Munich and would I go with him in an advisory role, yawn yawn yawn, I told him I had the stomach flu, I'd drunk a bad pint, old Nev as dumb as ever fell for it, I actually had a liaison with a dirty young lass from Arbroath, like there are clean ones, HA!.
Well you know how it went, Hitler had been trained in lying and even though he was sniggering as he signed Neville didn't suspect a thing.
Churchill took over as P.M. he was half American so he was used to lies and never fell for a thing, of course he was an amateur compared to FDR, and was shattered when he got dumped for Stalin, (bigger nation, size counts and not as needy as Chruchill) poor Nev died of cancer within 6 months of the Munich agreement , does Old Knudsen lie awake at night thinking about how millions could have been saved? sorry what was the question again?, if you made it this far without clicking next Blog, you should know its all true, if Old Knudsen is lying then he is dying, nope just a metallic taste in my mouth and my left arm is tingling.
