While I'm on the subject of man's intolerance towards his animal friends I see that the Royal Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh has bowed to the pressure that the media is putting on us all to look skinny and sexy, Old Knudsen has to fight to keep a healthy body image,and even though some people go on about his small penis he has managed to be happy of what God has given him, I stand erect and proud knowing that I have fathered many children and pleasured many women, or have I pleasured many children, oh I know what I mean, of course none of the fuckers are getting a penny from me, mainly because Billy One Ear keeps swiping me change, oh and my VCR, he said some Spaniards broke in and took it but fessed up a week later, of course I do feel bad for that Dago I glassed, that Billy, hes a one all right, he replaced my VCR with another one, its bigger and loads from the top, Billy said these are better than the little ones and the way the door lifts up all very high tech, like one of them De Lorean cars.
What was I talking about? oh yeah the Museum, what do you go to the Museum for? besides to use the Bog, you go to look at the Turtle or Goldfish ponds, well there was a Goldfish named Scotty, poor wee Scotty was not like the other fish, he was happy and swam about gulping at air with a big trail of shit hanging from his ass like they do, but Scotty had a growth on his face, visitors would recoil in horror at the ugliness of this creature, little children would have nightmares because they gazed into the face of evil, well ok it wasn't that bad, it didn't bother the fish but some arseholes that went to the place for the one and only time in their lives complained, you know what those folks in Edinburgh are like, soft as shite, (though not as soft as the Marshmen of the south) Scotty went into surgery and had the harmless lump removed, for comedy value they also removed one of his eyes.
A spokesman for the Museum said, "If anymore English cunts complain about Scotty One Eye being ugly, I'll take oot the little fishy and stomp on the fucker in front of them, I'll present it to the Sasenach and say, are we happy now?" , he then went on administrative leave for stress.
