Are you ready for yer initiation into the Foot Eater school for wayward young men?Ya know what spoils my day? when I break an egg into the frying pan for a fry up and the yoke breaks, that's the best bit of the egg I like it runny so I can dip my potato farl into it, FUCK! that really does spoil my day , you just know everything after that will just be all bad, its God giving you the heads up, so I break open another egg until I get my two yokes. Last week was great, I got a box of eggs that all had double yokes. What has this got to do with anything? I don't know I was just sharing. Now you know all about me and I know nothing about yous, so what do my readers have for breakfast?
I'm sure Dive has a croissant as he is so 'European', did ya catch the way I spat out the word European? we British humour the world when they call us European but they can go and fuck off, its just a passive aggressive way to conquer us .
I'll tell ya what else bothers me, when ya go for a piss and you're standing there with yer lad pointing at the porcelain and suddenly yer piss shoots out to the right, totally flying over the rim and hitting the floor, this occurs commonly when you have had sex and maybe you still have some man muck in yer pipe blocking the way but I cannot see the reason for it any other time, its not funny I live alone I don't have a maid to clean it up so it has to lie there until it dries up, that explains the rhyming slang for having a piss as 'hit and miss'.
While we're on the subject you may have heard of the term 'slash and burn' its a farming method to clear the land that's overgrown with weeds. I was thinking that its the perfect description of having a piss (sometimes called a slash) when you have VD, these things just pop into my head and God gave me a Blog to spread the word.
While I'm on the subject and just chewing the fat with ya today do ya ever go to the record shop to buy the latest Bing Crosby LP and find that even though you paid way too much for it you don't even have the lyrics printed out inside for you to sing along too, fuck I hate that, I curse the artist for not thinking about their fans and just out to make money, never mind the Fair fucking trade website I want lyrics to find out what the hell you are mumbling so I can mumble too, try and sing along to Dylan or Springsteen why don't ya.
The picture I've put up is an ad for the North American Man Boy Love Association, or its an ad for long johns, why are these two men who are in their late 30's to early 40's standing around in their underwear in a log cabin, no doubt miles from anywhere encroaching on the personal space of a young 14 year old boy and all are laughing?
The boy's smile is not so sincere as he suspects something may be amiss (no misses to be seen) hes reaching into his backpack hopefully to pull out a knife or a tube of lube, I wonder if these long johns have the rear panels that open up.
I'm sure Dive has a croissant as he is so 'European', did ya catch the way I spat out the word European? we British humour the world when they call us European but they can go and fuck off, its just a passive aggressive way to conquer us .
I'll tell ya what else bothers me, when ya go for a piss and you're standing there with yer lad pointing at the porcelain and suddenly yer piss shoots out to the right, totally flying over the rim and hitting the floor, this occurs commonly when you have had sex and maybe you still have some man muck in yer pipe blocking the way but I cannot see the reason for it any other time, its not funny I live alone I don't have a maid to clean it up so it has to lie there until it dries up, that explains the rhyming slang for having a piss as 'hit and miss'.
While we're on the subject you may have heard of the term 'slash and burn' its a farming method to clear the land that's overgrown with weeds. I was thinking that its the perfect description of having a piss (sometimes called a slash) when you have VD, these things just pop into my head and God gave me a Blog to spread the word.
While I'm on the subject and just chewing the fat with ya today do ya ever go to the record shop to buy the latest Bing Crosby LP and find that even though you paid way too much for it you don't even have the lyrics printed out inside for you to sing along too, fuck I hate that, I curse the artist for not thinking about their fans and just out to make money, never mind the Fair fucking trade website I want lyrics to find out what the hell you are mumbling so I can mumble too, try and sing along to Dylan or Springsteen why don't ya.
The picture I've put up is an ad for the North American Man Boy Love Association, or its an ad for long johns, why are these two men who are in their late 30's to early 40's standing around in their underwear in a log cabin, no doubt miles from anywhere encroaching on the personal space of a young 14 year old boy and all are laughing?
The boy's smile is not so sincere as he suspects something may be amiss (no misses to be seen) hes reaching into his backpack hopefully to pull out a knife or a tube of lube, I wonder if these long johns have the rear panels that open up.
Cats are incredible, so many uses for the wee things and theres so many about. I got a new leg from the NHS. I actually wanted a sauntering leg but all they had left was a jogging leg and its powered by a cat, they only last a week though, if you could get a rechargeable cat that would be purrfect but I've found that once I remove the dud cat I can use my leg as an ambling leg. Its not as good as my wooden leg to beat people with but like this blog you get what you pay for.
A question I keep asking myself over and over again,"why can't we all just get a lawn?".
