Not wishing to scare anyone but we are soooooo going to die. Well I wished for it and here it is an Asteroid is going to strike the Earth on 13th April.
Our one best hope is the UN, so people we are royally fucked, we're all going to die.
Its actually has a 1 in 45,000 of a chance of hitting us and depending on the angle and speed may just take out one of the Earth's capitol cities or a region, as we know from the movies its always a city with well known landmarks, and as we also know the debris will block the sun and boy does Global warming sound good during a Ice fucking age.
The nerds er I mean scientists have named the Asteroid Apophis after the Egyptian God who really kicked ass in Stargate, they were going to name it Buffy because she kicks high but then the show got canceled.
So anyway back to the death and destruction, mankind came along, fucked the planet all up, totally enabled by weemankind so I'm not to sorry to see us go, its not the end of the world just the human parasites that invest it, nature always has a plan.
Rusty Schweickart who spends alot of time wandering around and watching the skies, he always carries big rocks incase he has to twat any aliens that want to probe him, "they never use lube" he says shaking his head, " I don't care what planet you cum from, there is always time for lube, its interglactic manners".
Former US astronaut Rusty Schweickart which sounds really painful says we should upgrade our Asteroid monitoring systems as there are probably thousands out there waiting to kill us, yeah hes a proper ray of sunshine, this guy was an astronaut in 1969, that was the year Monty python aired its first episode on the BBC, John lennon went solo the My Lai massacre in Vietnam, Ted Kennedy killed campaign worker Mary Jo Kopechne and the
Reverend Ian Paisley, Protestant leader in Northern Ireland, is jailed for 3 months for illegal assembly and refused to take it up the ass in the showers, "NO! I'm a giver not a taker" he proclaimed, it makes me proud to be bitter.
So what the fuck does rusty dick know? he has some half arsed idea involving a space ship that fires out gravity to deflect asteroids, I'm sure a 460 foot long rock would be so easy to deflect, Rusty also says "live long and prosper" a lot too.
This is not a Rusty Schweickart its a syphilitic ulcer and the least of yer worries, see what happens when you wear Calvin Kleins? I took this picture while I was doing my rounds at the local hospital Mr Johnson didn't mind.
This plan would only cost 300 million, so hes not so nuts after all, the 13th of April is not too far away so tell yer boss to fuck off and shag the hoor next door who gives a fuck what you catch, oh and did I mention it was in 2036 so mark it on yer calendars.
Our one best hope is the UN, so people we are royally fucked, we're all going to die.
Its actually has a 1 in 45,000 of a chance of hitting us and depending on the angle and speed may just take out one of the Earth's capitol cities or a region, as we know from the movies its always a city with well known landmarks, and as we also know the debris will block the sun and boy does Global warming sound good during a Ice fucking age.
The nerds er I mean scientists have named the Asteroid Apophis after the Egyptian God who really kicked ass in Stargate, they were going to name it Buffy because she kicks high but then the show got canceled.
So anyway back to the death and destruction, mankind came along, fucked the planet all up, totally enabled by weemankind so I'm not to sorry to see us go, its not the end of the world just the human parasites that invest it, nature always has a plan.
Rusty Schweickart who spends alot of time wandering around and watching the skies, he always carries big rocks incase he has to twat any aliens that want to probe him, "they never use lube" he says shaking his head, " I don't care what planet you cum from, there is always time for lube, its interglactic manners".Former US astronaut Rusty Schweickart which sounds really painful says we should upgrade our Asteroid monitoring systems as there are probably thousands out there waiting to kill us, yeah hes a proper ray of sunshine, this guy was an astronaut in 1969, that was the year Monty python aired its first episode on the BBC, John lennon went solo the My Lai massacre in Vietnam, Ted Kennedy killed campaign worker Mary Jo Kopechne and the
Reverend Ian Paisley, Protestant leader in Northern Ireland, is jailed for 3 months for illegal assembly and refused to take it up the ass in the showers, "NO! I'm a giver not a taker" he proclaimed, it makes me proud to be bitter.
So what the fuck does rusty dick know? he has some half arsed idea involving a space ship that fires out gravity to deflect asteroids, I'm sure a 460 foot long rock would be so easy to deflect, Rusty also says "live long and prosper" a lot too.
This is not a Rusty Schweickart its a syphilitic ulcer and the least of yer worries, see what happens when you wear Calvin Kleins? I took this picture while I was doing my rounds at the local hospital Mr Johnson didn't mind.This plan would only cost 300 million, so hes not so nuts after all, the 13th of April is not too far away so tell yer boss to fuck off and shag the hoor next door who gives a fuck what you catch, oh and did I mention it was in 2036 so mark it on yer calendars.
