News just in that Old Knudsen the world's greatest blogger has been taken hostage by long time friend and glue sniffer Billy One ear. Mr One ear of no fixed address held a gun to Mr Knudsen's head and screamed that Old Knudsen was the prince of darkness and had shagged his girlfriend "Fat Brenda" the previous weekend.
Knudsen who cannot be held accountable for his actions as he is a "sex addict" did not seem unduly distressed though a puddle with lumps could be seen forming at his feet.
Police snipers will not be used in this instance as they keep feeling a compulsion to target Knudsen. Mr One ear has not made any demands besides 2 fish suppers, a can of Fanta orange and a can of Iron Bru. It is thought that the Fanta is for Knudsen though police sources will not confirm it at this time.
Stay tuned in for more live updates, now for something completely different. A house fire in Coventry leaves 8 members of the same family dead, but lucky the 4 year-old cocker spaniel was rescued and is doing well, ahhhhhhh.
