Listen up bitches aight! I just got back from Washington, it took longer than I thought. Did you know there was two? one is a state and one is a DC which stands for 'Da Capitol' . Anyway it was fucking cold there which is why I have me polar bears furs on and also to raise awareness of the effect Global warming might have on the Polar bears and their environment if Global warming actually existed.After getting my man Obama the preez job he wanted me around to run interference and to protect his long gangly ass.
Within moments of taking the stage a shot from a high powered rifle broke the joy and Obama fell ded at Bushes feet. Bush stifled a giggle but could not hide his huge erection.
Luckily it was the French lookalike that was killed as I had used him to flush Cheny out. One less Frog, yes I do expect a medal.
I killed Cheny the only way I knew how to ..................... with death!
Maybe not , the big O didn't want anymore deaths so I knee capped the cunt.
Obama and I had a good laugh over it and he thanked me for covering his back yet again.
Then Obama went on to make the most important speech of our lunchtime, " My fellow African Americans and other Americans. I had a dream! there was a train and a tunnel and I was nailin Palin from behind as she screamed 'You betcha you betcha' then this midget came in a sucked on my balls as I thrusted but thats not important. The important thing is that we all do our best, if you sweep floors for a living or if yer a hooker then be the best one you can. Only by surrounding myself with Clinton's people and you all working like slaves er I mean like crackers will this country stop sucking so much.We may be obese, we may be stoopid but we is Americans and as Americans we should be in charge because we be so big aight?
Ask not what yer country can do for you demand yer country do it because we are going self-entitlementism instead of Capitalism which is like socialism but won't scare dumb folk with the name. You demand health care, you demand bailouts, you demand rescue from hurricanes because as Capitalists you deserve nothing from the government, they don't have to save yer sorry fat ass but as Self-entitlementists you should get it....... within 6 - 30 working days.
Obama then to roaring crowds bit into his first babies head as only a president can do. Muzzletoff!Some silly bint read a crap poem, Tina Turner sang a crap song and Ted Kennedy fell doon drunk again, when Ted drinks the secretaries stay away from him. We all winked and nudged each other, "Ah that must be the old tumor then, poor fella."
The good news is that even with my past record with Bush I still get to keep my job as a government think tank. I shall do my best. What do the American people want .... free pens? What will stop the world hating America so much .... nuclear holocaust? I have some thinking to do, well I get paid whether my ideas are accepted or not.When people ask me 'Where where you when Obama took the oath?' I'll reply "Takin yer Ma."
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