You sinful but tasty creature my talking snake says, "swallow me apple" Hey Eve, how would you like to be the woman who invents multiple orgasms?
This post was inspired by the lovely MJ an ex Knudsen bitch.Well known facts are:
Scottish are the most superior race in the world.
Old Knudsen is always right even when hes wrong.
Wedding rings change weemen into monsters.
Men are most desirable to the opposite sex when they are drunk.
Aliens are a homophobic manifestation insecure men have of their secret ghey side.
It is better to be a giver than a taker.
The Troll whines like a bitter retarded old woman.
Atlantis was off the coast of Scotland.
Grass is greener on the other side due to an optical illusion to do with clouds.
Men are better than weemen at 98% of all things.
Men are even better at being weemen, look at that face just ready for a money shot.Its weemen I want to talk about. I love weemen with their curves and jelly like globes of flesh and moist inviting recesses.
Weemen are also more pleasing to gaze upon than men unless the man is me of course.
When a woman is interested in you she is most accommodating and will literally bend over backwards and swallow the gravy. As soon as you commit and its a gold ring that gets fingered not a brown one then weemen get too comfortable and their demon side cums out.
Then its all about picking up clothes, no more wiping snooters on yer trousers and not pissing on the bathroom floor the things they used to find so adorable about you.
The only cure for love is marriage
No seriously whats fer dinner? I've been workin all day.Another thing brings out the demon side of weemen and that is their period. Do not trust something that bleeds for 5 days an does not die.
So much complaining about cramps. You know I had my eye hanging out on to my cheek , my left arm was shattered and I had 4 large musket holes in my body as I rode doon the valley of the shadow of death, no I don't mean having sex with yer Ma I mean the Crimean war and did I complain? oh no I was grateful, weemen don't know they are born.
I've been around weemen long enough to hear the period talk. Weemen talking about gushing, heavy and light flows and sticky itchy yucky goop that cums out off their stench trench.
Look at the face on her, is she thinking about stroking my lad or wall paper?What ever happened to the dirty talk about licking yer rim as they work the pipe and can my hot friend join us?
Periods, giving birth and cervical biopsies don't look that sore so why so cranky? I believe its merely an excuse to eat chocolate.
Do I constantly talk about my anal itch? well ok thats a bad example but really when you scratch and get blood when you should be getting poop, ach you don't understand about suffering.
Is this kind of behaviour necessary? Vadges should only be talked about in a sexy way or not at all or the wonder is gone. I believe the woes of the world are not violent video games, religious genocide or foods pumped with steroids but are caused by weemen talking about their periods and how special the women become due to the ensuing anger, "LOOK ME IN THE EYES AGAIN AND I'LL CUT YA" . No its not about you its about the va va.
Its like warm apple pie, yeah right not like mama used to make thats fer sure.
To quote the great thinker Aristotle, "Men and young boys rule and weemen drool" another great thinker Stephen Hawking may also drool but he talks like a robot which is so fucking cool. The Troll doesn't count as being a man so don't even think about using him as an example.
I encourage the thoughts of my female readers in the comments no doubt there will be lots of talk of womanly things like knitting , having babies and other delicate subjects.
Take this as constructive criticism now go fetch me a cup of tea then suck on my balls as I watch the telly, CSINSFW Miami is cuming on. I just love how realistic these crime shows are.
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