Bring Back Pirate Bumsex.

I've always been bothered By stories like Cinderella, The Little mermaid and Snow white and the 7 vertically challenged persons and any other story that has a gurl who wants to marry a prince.
I've posted about Disney before with Mickey diddle the kids Mouse and if you can't see the evil of the happiest place on Earth (Disneyworld) then what happened to Bambi's mum will happen to you.

Bambi's mum, I'm sure of it.

Firstly you have these gurls, all pretty with long flowing hair and
a pleasant disposition that gives the impression they are nice gurls, not too bright but nice.
The reason why I say not too bright is because they haven't made anything of themselves all that pot they smoked robbed them of ambition, but they know enough to want to better themselves by marriage before their looks fade so they go all out to fall in love with the first prince they see, these gold diggers are sneaky, that Snow White bird, well why was she called Snow ? who names their kid that? hippies that's who, her hair was as black as coal, probably a hairy gurl too I reckon, shacked up with, Stumpy, Horny, Tugger, Rammer, Pogo, Clappy and Bukkake it wasn't her honour that was white as the ridden snow it was her face after a session with Bukkake and friends , that dirty slag, it would make a great porno vid, I'm sure its been done I will have to look, for the sake of research.

When Ms White was lying there unconscious after eating an apple and is all of a sudden is woke up by a kiss from a prince he falls for it, way to stroke his ego you manipulating bitch, its turkey that makes you sleepy you morons, Apples keep doctors away like a cross to a vampire, who writes this shit, no I write 'this' shit I mean that shit.

Time for the midget gangbang bitch.

I would have tested her level of awareness first , if a dirty old jock having a go at you doesn't wake you then a kiss certainly won't, I guess that's why I'm not a prince, I bet it never occurred to him to look up her skirt, fucking gentlemen, give us all a bad name.


For the troops

That Cinderella only had 6 PHDs which means she is fucking useless, Burger King said fuck off until you have 10 and 2 years experience at flipping burgers then you can have an interview, so she was stuck doing housework, not very good at it either, in the attic where she lived it was crawling with mice and birds making dresses and shit, I'd get a cat if I lived there or get a load of traps but no, dozyrella encourages them, like that film Ben with the rats, next they'll be in the kitchen eating the Ritz crackers. I like Ritz, Ritz makes me smile.
I like Ritz but it makes me toot.

Thankgod for Fairy god mothers, because that gurl was a waste of time, instead of a carriage she should have given her a backbone, no prince is going to come and save you gurl, well except in this case of course and in 'The graduate' but really it doesn't happen, that often.

You should know the story by now she has to leave the Ball by midnight or everything changes back to as they were, the coach back into a pumpkin the coachmen back into mice, you know the deal, what I want to know is, why is the glass slipper that's left behind stays a slipper and not revert, and why don't you see many glass shoes about anymore, it seems they are perfect for dancing in and why didn't she poison her stepmother and sisters years ago?



A present from the Dwarves.

Poor Socrates huh? that Plato wanker wasn't too upset, this has nothing to do with this except for the poisoning, they said, "Socrates you are well
too smart for your own good, go drink some poison", he proved them wrong and was dumb enough to drink some. I get e-mails all the time from bloggers telling me to drink poison, really Foot Eater it gets kind of old after a while .


That little Mermaid, she was a bit of alright, why was she named after a soap power? was Hans Christian Anderson sitting in his kitchen trying to meet a deadline and he saw a box of Ariel and said, "yup good enough, its only for kids anyway", she could of very well been called Daz or Persil .




Another Disney abortion is what they did to the bad name that Pirates have, yeah yeah Johnny Depp is so cute the man is about 60 but looks 35 and is now a teen idol, the mothers had him for a teen idol too, all very incestuous but good for Mr Depp I am thinking, he only has eyes for that Joe la Taxi gurl and her dirty frog ways, anyway, getting captured by pirates used to mean brutal anal rape and once you're full of seamen chopped up and fed to the sharks, now it means a good old fun packed romp for all the family.


Yo ho ho and a tube of lube, Yarr! I'll be wantin your bumsex, me hearties.