"Have your parents ever complained about my leadership?" "you're hurting my hand mister".Russia is a big cold winter wonderland of a place, the people are now free from the evil grasp of Communism and can now stand in lines, smoke strong cigarettes and drink vodka.
A people of humour they use too many letters in their words, and speak backwards and tell jokes like this.
What do you call one Russian? --A drunk. What do you call two Russians? --A fight. What do you call three Russians? --The junior sub-committee of the 3rd Party Secretariat of the 8th District ...
Recently there was a poisoning and eventually the killing(not before the world found out ) of a former FSB agent (the successor to the KGB) in a sushi bar in Piccadilly, you know I've had sushi, I threw it back at them and said,"this fish is raw, are you trying to poison me?" well this ex agent Alexander Litvinenko is blaming President Putin because Litvinenko wrote a tell all book, not a very good review .
It has also been suggested that Putin is connected with the murder of journalist Anna Politkovskaya.
The Russians are shite at assassination killings, even worse than the Protestant paramilitaries of Northern Ireland and they suck the sweat of a dead dog's bollocks (which means they are quite bad)
Do ya remember that time when the mystic Grigori Rasputin was killed? c'mon you must, it was in all the papers, well having had too much influence on the wife of the Tsar and thus Tsar Nicholas II himself, Grand Duke Dmitri Pavlovich and the cross dressing Prince Felix Yussupov did the old lets poison Rasputin trick, but with the Russians being the worse keelers in the world that didn't work, so they shot him several times, Rasputin cried out "ouch! that last one hurt a bit" they got serious and started beating him, Rasputin getting bored showed them how to punch like a man so they would stop all that girly rabbit punching they were doing, in the end Rasputin had to help them beat himself up, he landed himself a nice wee upper cut and fell into a nearby river and drowned.
Have you accepted L Ron Hubbard as your personal savior? Rasputin the mad monk, well so would you be if you were shot beat up and drown.The name Rasputin comes from Yusupov dialect which was the area where Rasputin was from, it means 'dog wanker' which was the trade of the Rasputin family as jizz from the Borzoi, or Russian Wolfhound was sold to the Chinese as an aphrodisiac.
The Current President Vladimir Putin dropped the Ras from his name as to not get the negative connotations from the old mystic, so Putin is just a wanker.
Viktor Yushchenko of the Ukraine is an ugly fucker due to yet another botched poison attempt , the whole world knows about it so they should might as well have stuck to using ice picks, you don't see Trotsky walking around with an orange scarf.
Pretending there are no hard feelings though Yushchenko is going for the passive agressive upper hand by grabbing Putin's arm, but whats with the plastic suit?Never mind John Lennon , Joseph Stalin or Ringo fucking Starr my favourite Russian leader was Leonid Brezhnev, he was a Ukrainian steel worker that ruled Russian from 1964 - 1982, he was the definitive Russki
leader. Copied in so many movies because he looks the part, no big Village People biker moustache and no mess on his head that looked like purple bird shit.
Best Russian leader ever! he could also be mistaken for an older woman too. He may have ruled until 1982 but he actually died in 1981, lookalikes strings and pulleys kept the myth going, a bit like Pope John Paul II who was pure animatronics towards the end.In 1989 Mikhail Gorbachev had Glasnost which means openness, he broke the Soviet Union, much like what bush is doing with America, then Boris Yeltsin or B.O. the Yeti as I used to call him (smelly fucker never washed) had his heart bypass, drinking a lot and money laundering, then resigning opening the door for his VP to take over, young Vladimir Wanker.
Putin likes to think hes a hard man, a small wee shite that walks about with a swagger, former head of the KGB and expert in Judo, which is a ghey form of Karate meets grab ass. What stupid fucking country puts the head of a secret police torturing spy service at it's head? a country that has no choice that's what, er hold on a minute was Bush Sr not the head of the American KGB? you may know them as CIA.
Don't fuck with me or I will come out of the 70's , pin you down with my judo and touch you up.Putin is tough when it comes to collateral damage, ask the Russian submariners or anyone that's been in a hostage situation .After the Beslan school hostage crisis of 2004 he was asked why he didn't talk to the Chechen Separatists, he replied with " would you invite Osama Bin Laden to the Whitehouse to talk?" I'd say yes Mr Putin as that would be the only chance of finding the twat, the chicken shit has not answered my challenges of a duel .
Putin talks the talk :"Russia doesn't negotiate with terrorists, Russia destroys them".
Someday all this will be ours.
Nice dress, so hows the oppressing going?I leave you with more fine examples or the Russian wit.
What do you call one Jew? --A financial center. What do you call two Jews? --The World Chess Championship. What do you call three Jews? --Native Russian Folk Instrument Ensemble.
As sponsored By mel Gibsonski.
What do you call one Ukrainian? --A partisan. What do you call two Ukrainians? --A partisan cell. What do you call three Ukrainians? --A partisan cell with a traitor in their midst.
"And you're sure this doesn't make me look silly Georgie? " "well I don't look silly now do I?"
