Yes, Murals have again graced my Blog.
You may remember Vince Vaughn from such movies as Swingers, Dodgeball and the brilliantly funny Wedding Crashers, he was a fine young man full of promise until tragedy struck, he went to Belfast and met with The Prince of lies, Sinn Fein president Gerry Adams.
What is going on I hear no one scream, well Vince , do you mind if I call you Vince? I feel like I know you so well, oh good, well Vince is doing a documentary on Belfast's Murals. Old Knudsen having traveled the length and breadth of the Emerald isle, no not Emerald Bile, get your mind out of the gutter, has on many occasions seen the the murals of belfast and those in other bitter towns.
The murals are large depictions from the sectarian violence that erupted in 1969 between the Protestants and the Catholics and are of masked terrorists, heroes, flags slogans and warnings of where you are , ' you are now in Loyalist East Belfast' , always handy to know if you are not of the loyalist persuasion, turn round and walk in the other direction , bear it in mind you may get into trouble for just being an unfamiliar face, oh that's right, theres been a cease fire since 1994, the numerous shootings and that big bomb in 1998 doesn't count nor that big bank robbery by the Irish Republican Army which was aided by Sinn Fein in which £26.5 million was stolen, nope no trouble in Northern Ireland any more, all the bitter balls have taken up knitting and flower arranging.
No one has a choice whether a mural goes up on to the side wall of their house or not, the artists and big men with necks thicker than their heads come round to do it, the angry home owner had better smile and make them tea or their family won't be safe.
I remember a woman named Isabel, legs all the way up to her arse and a mouth as foul as a sewer, she had a mural painted onto the side of her house, an ugly big thing, crossed Armalites and a Red Hand of Ulster, the usual thing, well the police wouldn't touch it as they didn't consider it enough to get into trouble over so she was stuck with it .
My buddy Vince met with Nationalist Gerry scumbag Adams in Andersontown to look at a mural of hunger striker Kieran Doherty, hunger strikers were IRA prisoners that stopped eating to protest the conditions in prison, a hand full died and so got murals, very al Qaeda mindset don't you think? to keep the documentary fair and balanced Vince met with the Unionist politician David Ervine to look at a Protestant mural, the Protestant mural was about workers at the shipyards, not a political one, you know, the shipyards that built the Titanic, which almost made it to the other side, a fact no one gives the builders any credit for.
Non Political Breasts
Vince, according to everyone seemed very interested in the murals and very open to talk to, he wouldn't answer any questions one whether or not Jennifier Aniston is any good in the sack or did he get excited knowing that Brad had been there before him, in fact he just ignored me when I asked the questions, but we're still buds.
Vince noticed the murals while in Belfast on a previous visit, he saw them from his taxi when he left the Eurpoa Hotel where he was staying, incidentally the Europa was bombed 27 times during the Northern Ireland troubles.
Buses and taxis now take tours of the murals and places of shootings and bombings, it was only a few years back that you'd never see a bus or a taxi in those places.
I like Vince, he can get a bit rough with a few drinks in him but so fuck, who doesn't? oh yeah the soft English, anyway with visiting the murals of Belfast and not calling everyone Irish I now make Vince Vaughn an honourary Bitter Balls.
Observe the top picture, Vince looks like he is about to violently whack Gerry and Gerry looks like the sniveling weasel he is," oh Mr Vaughn don't talk to the black hearted prods, the brave IRA freedom fighters though I am in no way connected with them love you and your money".
