"Hey Randy do ya see yer watch yet?"Remember back in the day when you'd shot someone and they would have the courtesy to fall doon dead with yer one shot? or if you punched someone on the jaw or hit them on the back of the head they would automatically fall unconscious until you had done what you wanted to do? these days people just have no respect, who the fuck has even read Chow Mien's 'Art of war?' Now'a'days you have to bludgeon someone repeatedly with a heavy object, blow them up and their surroundings or shoot 40 rounds in slow motion into them and even then they may reach out in their final death throes and try to grab you when you are least expecting it .
Ka-Chow!
In my day Karate chops were all the rage, you'd sneak up behind someone and 'twat!' with a light wrist motion onto their neck they would fold like a card table. A very handy martial art for one who doesn't really like to touch other people, when I shake someone's hand I get split second thoughts of where that hand has been, I don't do handshakes much. Over the years people became resistant to Karate chops and while commandoes would use a knife in the kidneys or neck to silence a sentry the less bloodthirsty gentleman took to using poisoned darts from small blow pipes or a rag with chloroform, you really don't want to explain why yer Harris tweed jacket is covered in blood.
I wouldn't like to met any of these guys in a dark alley or back passage.When I started out in the services if you were fighting in unarmed combat it was only polite to hold yer arm out until yer opponent got a good enough grip and if they were throwing you a little spring from yer toes would be the decent thing to do, on more recent combat courses I've taken its all grappling and getting sweaty, I want to kill or knock the enemy out not feel the need to get a STD test due to a heavy exchange of body fluids during a fight.
"Stop tapping me I'm not letting you up until you take it good bitch."
The Ultimate fighting lark looks like a mix between domestic violence and angry sex, I think the audience should be allowed to have a go in the cage or ring so they can experience it better. I'm amazed when I hear grown adults (men) say how they have never been in a fight in their life, they made sure they had their first cigarette, drink and shag but they managed to avoid this rite of passage, I just want to start punching the head off them to show them what they have missed all these years. Its always been said that I have a kind face, the kind you want to bash in so maybe that's why I've been involved in the odd scuffle in my time.
