Here is where it all happens, my bedroom where I blog from. I had a few young friends over for an introduction into the effects of alcohol, I think it went well. One of my readers says:
Dear Old Knudsen
I have suspicions that you are not who you say you are and have been deceiving us all this time. If you are indeed Old Knudsen the popular, wise and witty sea salt you claim to be then tell us about your home of Killamory a place I have been unable to find on any map.
spacemonkeygirl@hotmail.com
My fine woman (or space monkey gurl) just look at my profile and see the honesty in my eyes.
Dear Old Knudsen
I have suspicions that you are not who you say you are and have been deceiving us all this time. If you are indeed Old Knudsen the popular, wise and witty sea salt you claim to be then tell us about your home of Killamory a place I have been unable to find on any map.
spacemonkeygirl@hotmail.com
My fine woman (or space monkey gurl) just look at my profile and see the honesty in my eyes.
Killamory is one of Scotland's best kept secrets, situated at the mouth of Lough Killamory. Its long sandy beaches lead up the heather strewn slopes of Scat hill to the 12th century ruins of castle Klute. A thriving little town with 25 pubs and 18 churches (protestant churches) nearby RAF Newton is where 2 alien space craft that crashed in 1953 are being hoosed . Hippies and nutjobs from all over cum up to see strange lights in the sky (we call them stars and aeroplanes) Killamory is my sweet home and if I ever had to leave I'd shed tears of blood as my grief would be so great, ach I don't want to think about such things.
When me and the lads go for a swally doon the pub we like to sing all 12 verses of "My sweet Killamory." I tried to sing it all here but I can only remember the words when I'm paralytic.
When me and the lads go for a swally doon the pub we like to sing all 12 verses of "My sweet Killamory." I tried to sing it all here but I can only remember the words when I'm paralytic.
My Sweet Killamory
My face it was glassed and I was kicked in the ass but I'm having fun can't ya see lad ?
You go home to yer wife watch she doesn't have a knife or you'll be singing like a Falsetto.
The old cock crows with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.
Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory.
The old cock crows with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.
Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory.
There was johnny McTay, we all thought he was ghey so we'd beat him and call him a nancy.Now he moved way doon south and he fucks in the mouth any female that takes his fancy.
The old sheep baa's with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory.
Killamory is the place, to be a fucking disgrace, be a brabbler a drunk or a junkie.The air is almost clean, theres a lively disco scene, and the brothel is a tied up donkey.
The old dog barks with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory.
I knew wee Mary Haig, such a bitter old taig, and she wouldn't renege her ways .But I hoped at the chance for a little romance, so I put up with passion plays.
The old man sings with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory.
So Space monkey gurl who could make up shit like this? anything else you want to know just ask and give me a few minutes to cum up with an answer.
Fuck I hate stereotypes, it makes me so mad I want to glass the fuckers in the face and ge them a Glasgow smile.
For you to get to know Old Knudsen better he is:
* Cruel one minute and loving the next I'm as changeable as the sea.
* People think he is all seeing but really you are only seeing yer own guilt, shame on you.
* I'm not omnipotent well not as long as I have Viagra .I'm not 15 different people with proxy servers I'm not Horny Gurl 15 on My Space or Toffington the Earl of Twat on Blogger no matter how similar my writing styles are to them.
* I don't have all the answers but I can tell you what yer fucking problem is.
* Most of all I don't care and everything isn't about "you" nope its about me.
No wait a minute I do believe I just described God. So that means Old Knudsen is God, bet ya didn't see that coming I know I didn't. I'm not perfect you know but I'm pretty fucking close to it.
Bow doon you plebs, oh I need one of yous to build an ark, a nice big one with a shrubbery. Did I say ark? sorry I meant park, the drug dealers and their junkies need a place to hang out.
I know this to be true, for I am that old man.
