Wednesday, November 12, 2008

A Walk Doon Mammary Lane

Ok its been a hundred years or so since a bathroom/restroom/toilet or bog has been called a Water closet but I think you'll see the 'Old' in front of Knudsen.

When I was a kid we'd have to walk doon to the end of the garden to go to the toilet. I lived in the Lowlands of Scotland just on the border with England and so when we shat at the end of our garden we were shitting on England. They may of owned our asses so they could have the shit from them.

My Da said it was a political statement but I suspect he didn't want to dig a toilet pit, he claimed to be a Communist or Socialist one of those two, are they not the same? go ask an American I'm sure they would know.

So after the battle of Blàr Chùil Lodair in 1746 the English killed anyone who wore tartan I got annoyed that I couldn't wear me Tartan cod piece with the Tartan of the McBougle clan which was on me mother's side and had belonged to Angus McBougle laird of Cuntroff so thats when I rebelled and went doon south and sacked York.

You Americans would say 'fired' instead of sacked but Mike York was doing a terrible job promoting the tourism of Scotland as the only ones that came up there were Irish mercenaries looking for work, the French looking for a patsy to fight the English and the English who wanted to kill us and rape our man-like weemen. I went up to Mike and said, "Mike yer fired" I did a hand stab in the air so it would hurt him emotionally then I joined the British army as that was the only job going back then and went off and had a fine old time killing wogs.



I have taken to walking about like this here in Sunny SoCal and still as soon as I open my mouth I still get asked if I'm Irish. Whats wrong with you people, there I said it again "you people".

I wanted to end this post on a beautiful landmark that has long since gone due to having been ravaged by time and the elements. Jennifer Lopez's arse. I never never thought I'd be envious of Ben Affleck in any way but he was there................ lucky jammy bastard.


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