Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Great Lemur Threat

You all know how modest Old Knudsen the greatest blogger in the world is, he doesn't like to go into details about his heroic exploits or natural superiority over everyone else but I feel I must on this occasion.

Anyone with any military experience will tell you that SG-19 training level 4 is bad ass shit, well I've had level 7. I would have gotten to level 8 except I had a bad chest cold that day.

SG-19 or Spartans as we were known as are the elite of the elite, Delta Farce, SAS whoever are fucking amateurs compared to us.
While NASA were distracting the public with fake moon landings out in Nevada I was commanding experiments in time travel. I got to a future ruled by Lemurs in which humans were the slaves kept in zoos.

I found out that it was my own sperm that was used in experiments 1000's of years ago that created these super Lemurs. I fell to my knees and yelled at the sky with clenched fists and shouted, "You idiots what have you done? Its a madhoose!" one passing lemur muttered something about me having issues.

I got my space/time travel pod working again and came back and killed the head scientist in charge of Lemur insemination. Hopefully I have saved the world yet again. I don't want to be called a hero I was just doing the right thing.

Time travel works both ways and I have discovered the Great Shasta Lemur.


They haven't gone away you know

A Lemur so deadly it can kill you and you'd only notice 10 minutes later. These lemurs crave human flesh to eat and to fornicate with I don't know what NASA have done but I fear it is too late.

I traveled to Mount Shasta which is here in Callyfornia but they were quite elusive. I got a shot off at something and followed the blood trail but it was just a hiker.

I can only warn you so many times about Lemurs without sounding like a nutcase but they will kill you and skull fuck you, is that what you want?

The great Ronald Reagan once said, "who are you people and what and I doing here?" he also said that if the world had a common enemy like space aliens then the world would unite. I suppose he meant like we did against Germany and then we'd squabble over land after that.

Ask not what yer cuntry can do for you but who you can kill for yer cuntry.

The world is seeing serial killers around every corner, I see Lemurs and being of sound mind and extreme military training I'd believe me.

Arm yerself people and don't trust yer fellow bloggers especially the ones that don't show their faces in their avatars.


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