Do The Barf Man.

Oh no hes having a reversal, quick get the intern I need this counted.

I'm a natural athlete as many a woman (and others) can testify to. When I'm not participating in water sports or watching the synchronised wanking in Fat Sparrows's Bukkake videos I'm following the over indulging world of Hot dog eating.

12 minutes of shoving buns and stuffing meat into moist receiving mouths (now you see why I follow it) its held in Brooklyn every year which is a town named after David Beckhams child no doubt .

For some reason the skinny little Japs have dominated the sport. Takeru Kobayashi Maru held the title of world champion hot dog eater since 2001 but they didn't count on a 23 year-old American hero named Joey Chestnut.

Not a hero like me or John Smeaton who tackled the crispy terrorists but still a hero. Chestnut inhaled 66 hot dogs in his 12 minutes showing that the Yanks still have it in them to beat the fanatical Nips.

Chestnut or Chesty as he likes me to call him then raised his fist in the air and shouted,"that's for Pearl harbour you whale killing cunts." It must have been the thought of Ben Affleck's wooden acting in that chick flick disguised as an action film that caused poor Kobayashi Maru to have a reversal that's hot dog jargon for vomiting . Usually they wait until much later to go to the vomitorian which is how they keep their figures.

I want to know how do you get the job of counting spewed hot dogs? Someone had to count them to get his total which was 63 and yes there was still diced carrots in it.

Nathans annual hot dog eating competition has been going on since 1916, a time when we Brits had other things on our mind like the first World War.

Ah those war years were good to me. I started the company "Knudsen's Trench Installation " and became the biggest supplier of trenches in Europe, no time to eat hot dogs, oh no Bully beef was the only thing I ate and I was grateful.