One day in our village we heard the tinkling of metal and the clip clopping of horses. I rushed to the window and looked out to see the gayly painted caravans, "the Gypsies are coming Mummy the Gypsies are coming" then I rushed outside and skipped along side the road, very odd behaviour as my mother lives in her retirement bungalow doon in Newquay.
The villagers looked worried and held their children close to them, laws prohibiting the existence of Gypsies, Gyppos,Pikeys,Knackers,Tinkers,Travelers,Kale,Romnichals or Romany have long since been done away with no more deporting our scum to America or Australia we were stuck with them.
Only one person was tough enough to deal with these type of people who steal yer washing when its hung out to dry, rape yer livestock and probably sell yer weemen and children given the chance yes only one person was man enough but unfortunately she was doon in Sheffield at a china painting convention, Old Knudsen would have to do.
They set up their camp in the Barley field, no barley there but the local council had put in some nice skinny trees attached to thick stakes to make the field look nice, the funny thing with council trees are they never seem to grow into real thick tall trees, maybe its because they always get torn doon by vandals I don't know, remember tie the stake to the tree not the tree to the stake.
I knew the complete history of Gypsies, I'd watched a History channel special on them well I half watched it as I was waiting on 'The history of sex' to cum on, what a waste of time you didn't even see a tit never mind sex and I had taped over Star Gate SG fucking 1 for that shite. I walked into the camp my arms laden with blankets, beads and mirrors, I loved the way mirrors always freak them out.
I walked up to this old fella that had a commanding way about him I could tell he was the leader, scrawny but muscular, a sneer permanently on his face and a "fuck off " permanently on his lips, his flat cap told me he wielded power over others, like a less good looking version of me but dirty of course.
I'm no stranger to accents having a fine one meself but I could not understand half the shite this guy said he handed out my goods and blurted out strange Gyppo words like I-pod and X-box I was at a loss and so was he.
We sat doon by the camp fire and drank some strange alcoholic brew out of jars I kept the children entertained by jiggling my hoose keys at them, a simple people to be sure then it happened.
Fuckin Gyppos always start in with their music, this was exactly like the camp I was at.
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To be expected at every Gyppo camp someone started playing a violin, beautiful haunting music everyone started chanting ,"Rose Rose" and out of the shadows stepped Rose, like a young Sophia Loren she started dancing, her large breasts hypnotised me as they swayed and jiggled at times only inches from my face. I knew I'd probably have to fight the strongest braves or hang for 18 hours with eagle claws stuck into my nipples but I had to have her .
Rose finished her dancing and stepped back into the shadows with a cum hither look in her eyes, Silverback as I had come to call the head man mumbled something and waved me on after her I didn't need to be told twice.
My head was spinning from the drink and my knob was dripping with excitement , there on the edge at the camp leaning on the bonnet of a Pikey Ford Fiesta was Rose seductively hitching up her skirt, I went over to her grasping her large tits and snogging her greedily while doing a bit of dry humping, Old Knudsen can multi task when the um need arises.
She fumbled at the tie I use for a belt and soon we were having sex the Fiesta bouncing and groaning in pain beneath us, to be honest I hadn't had a woman in about a week to I was a little premature with eagerness etc, well I came and that's what counted also it would make a fine story to tell at the Pub the next night. The only thing that Rose said during our entire encounter was "fuck" that's when I came, like I said a simple people but at least she did know what we were doing .
I staggered home to find some cunt had robbed me hoose, my TV, Boom Box, Baywatch boxed collection all gone, you can't trust anyone so I fell asleep on the floor wondering who could of done such a thing and smiled at my wild conquest of the Romany region.
I awoke the next day to find the camp had gone, the only sign that proved they were there was the smoldering camp fire, the litter and a big pile of feces like ghosts they were I had to smell the feces to believe it had happened at all, the place where the Fiesta was parked had patches of dead grass where my seed had spilled.
In case you young uns still didn't know who Sophia Loren was from the first picture.
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The Gypsies had gone, I was back to my normal life sans Baywatch but a month later I got a big surprise, my dick dropped off, fucking Pikeys, don't worry it eventually grew back but it was thicker and more curly.
