Due to excessive gambling, drinking and hiring professional weemen to fulfil my manly needs, manicures , getting my dishes washed and the like I find my funds are at an all time low.I've heard about people selling their kidneys for transplants or whatever so I'm going to sell mine. The early birds will get the best deals and its 10% off if you buy in bulk, no really I've got loads of these things in my big chest freezer doonstairs.
I also have a lot of spare parts, a black shriveled penis on yer coffee table makes a real conversation piece, ever want to get a head in life or would you just like a little head? Old Knudsen is yer man, want a bum deal? well I'm up to me arse in arses.
Not happy with yer nose, I have a huge selection of noses you can pick from, go on pick yer nose.
Skin suits will be the next cool thing this fall, skin is the new denim.
Need a hand with yer blogging? well I have a load of hands it'll feel like someone else is publishing yer post, if you know what I mean, or I can just give you the finger, buy four get a thumb free.
Think you're a heart breaker? well you can be, just eye up the prices of my eyes, I hear the eyes have it and I heard that with my boxed ears set .
Want to give yer gurl the elbow? or a work colleague the cold shoulder? literal is funny, I know funny cos I'm a fucking Clown fish.
When you entice a gurl back to yer bedsit you don't ask her if she wants to see yer etchings you ask her if she wants to see Jimmy Hoffa's or Lord Lucan's skull? weemen go gag gag over that sort of stuff or to get them "in the mood" what about Glenn Miller's coccyx?
I've often heard that the largest sex organ we humans have is our brains, I'm willing to bet that my cock is bigger than my brain but that's neither here nor there. The brain isn't much of a sex organ, pretty tough to get that initial thrust into, maybe I'm doing it wrong.
Remember, you don't need a backbone to make highly illegal deals with Old Knudsen as he has all the spines you could ever need. Custom orders may take up to a week depending how picky you are.
